Jumpin' Off the Edge

When asked what I want for Christmas I stop and think of the usual requests – Books, music, earrings, and other stuff None of it seems right. I look around our house Expecting to see our tree alight with ornaments collected throughout the years instead, I see a sprig or two of garland. Plans have been made for Christmas Day Cinnamon rolls followed by the opening of presents Shortly after, pack up the car And head to Georgia. Making it seem like it could be any other vacation While you are off doing grown-up things. Even before the wrapping and packing begins Emptiness fills my heart. While at the same time it swells with pride A mother proud of the sacrifice of her son You, staying behind to honor fallen soldiers Spending Christmas without family. I anxiously await the day when you will come home Even if for a short time. For me, Christmas has been postponed. For Christmas for me is not in the tree Nor the presents or trips. It is something altogether different This year

My first year of teaching, I taught 7 th – 12 th graders in a behavioral classroom setting. Needless to say, there was quite a bit of negativity on a regular basis. That was the year the Goodwill Cards began. Back then they were called Christmas Compliments. (The name changed when I had a student who was a Jehovah’s Witness.) Each student wrote something positive to every other student in the class and the adults they worked with. My first year I wrote less than 20 cards. I have done the assignment every year since for the last 18 years. This year, I wrote 130 cards. As soon as the assignment is handed out to students, they begin to grumble. How can I say something nice about so-and-so? We have to write them for EVERYONE?! Why do I have to write one for myself? I just smile and tell them they will understand the importance of the assignment when they get their envelope of cards. I know the importance because each year I have students writing to me that they still have their

in-vin-ci-ble [in- vin - suh -b uh l] adj. unable to be conquered I detest feeling ‘vincible’ amidst a group of middle schoolers. My smile usually at the ready was hidden behind a façade of confidence as I faked my way through the day. Today, I lost the usually bright, energetic me. The funk pressed down more and more heavily as the day continued. By the afternoon, unwelcome tears were teasing and taunting; ready to show themselves as I let the weight of it all collapse on me. Still mired in the negativity, I knew the only way out is to reflect on my day, find the positive, and remind myself all that I love about teaching. Only seven more school days until Christmas track out. The students remind me of it on a daily basis. We even have a countdown on the board complete with green and red to add to the festive spirit. All year I have known that come the end of the semester, four of my classes would be leaving me for another class as I welcomed in new students. As exciting as i