Keeping it Real

I recently started reading strangers’ blogs. What began as a way for me to make my own blog more enticing to readers, has turned into something all together different. One blog entry in particular has needled its way into my brain. Five days after reading it, I can’t get it out of my mind. The post was about the Disease called “Perfection.” The end of the blog leaves the reader with a challenge:

Be real.

Be bold about your weaknesses and you will change people’s lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you.

Since I started this blog, honesty has been the root of it. Therefore, anyone who has read it knows that I am not perfect. So here it is. Me being real.

In school, I never saw myself as good enough. I wanted popularity and all that it brought. The reflection looking back at me in the mirror was an ugly girl who was fat, not pretty, and wore ugly hand-me-downs. I believed my guidance counselor when he told me I wasn’t smart enough to go to college.

Eventually, I found myself in Bible college. I was kicked out and ran around with a band before moving back home broke at the age of 23. I worked at McDonald’s and lived with my manager. Shortly after he broke off the engagement, I found myself, the daughter of a Baptist minister, pregnant. I became a mother five years before I became a wife.

In the search for a husband, I was involved with two different alcoholics. I made excuses for them even when I was told I was fat and ugly repeatedly. I believed them and didn’t think I deserved better.

While a single mother, I was shamed because I lived off welfare while going back to school. I cried when I got a B in college. I often called my father because I was out of patience with my 3 year old because he was getting in the way of something I needed to get  done.

As a wife and a mother, I am lacking. My husband does all the laundry and most of the cleaning. I don’t hug my children near enough. I often go out and do things on my own because it is easier than talking them all into going with me. I frequently put my job as a teacher before my job as a wife or mother. I know I am a good teacher, but don’t feel the same about my role at home.

I am the reason our family has moved so many times. Because of that, my children have been to several different schools and have not put down deep roots.

My views on religion are quite different from what I was brought up with. My religious philosophy is centered around treating others with kindness and love. I have no tolerance for judgments and do my utmost not to judge others.

I get restless and need to travel away from home base. I enjoy my time away alone. It centers me.

I like my imperfections. I love the woman I have become. If even one of the above had not happened, I would be a different person. Through my imperfection, I have learned resilience, strength, patience, and determination.

Your turn. How are you keeping it real?