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My Brave New Voice

I fully believe the Universe gives us what we need when we don’t even know we need it. Last week, I had the privilege of attending the Ultimate Life Summit. I saw students embrace the concepts of the 7 Mindsets and begin to live them. Every day, I was more and more inspired both in education and in my life. And then the Ultimate Life Summit collided with Brave New Voices. We had the privilege to attend a couple of workshops at the BNV national convention. I went to the workshops expecting to learn how to be a better teacher. Instead, it was a life-altering personal experience. It was so powerful, I felt compelled to write for a few hours afterwards. Healing from the ugliness that remained after abuse so many years later. I share a piece of it with you.
Devin
We stood in the circle following the path of our eyes
It was him
The same young man I had seen three times in the last 24 hours
Over 20 workshops, and here he was in the same room
Ready to do some “Finding of the ‘ing in Thing”
Our eyes locked
I knew he was about to be a part of my –ing
“Follow the path of your eyes”
Over 50 people in the room and he stood in my eye path
I walked over
He was taller than I remembered
The partner process continued
As I meditated on the message from the 7Mindsets morning class
 “lean into it” when uncomfortable, 
be in the moment.

Sitting,
waiting,
standing.

“Use your partner as a mirror. What do you see?”
I looked into his eyes
I saw myself as a young, eager teacher ready to change the world,
Believing in the system that is education.
Superimposed with an educator who has grown tired
The spark gone from her eyes
Cynical about those who make the rules
Slowly the veteran faded away and the teacher became a
World Changer once again

Stepping closer he continues
Looking into my eyes, me
Resisting the urge to step back, the room around us
Disappearing as I continued
Gazing back into his eyes
Looking for more of what was
Connecting us
Tears filled his eyes
Causing me to want to draw closer, to comfort
In that moment, our souls united

“What did you always want to hear from your parents that you never did?”
Thoughts of protecting what was hiding within disappeared.
“We are doing the best we can.”
“I love you.”
Words escaped my mouth and caused me to pause
The 5 year old me
Speaking the words, “I love you.”
“We are doing the best we can.”
Looking deep within our souls through the eyes of the other
The fissure of self-realization continued to grow
Slowly a tear trickled down my cheek.

Seeing only him
He seeing only me
Alone in the room
“We are doing the best we can.”
“I love you.”
Growing stronger each time I heard myself speaking it
Time stood still
Eyes locked on the other’s inner being
Weaving our souls together
Vulnerable
In the moment
Being
Waiting
Loving

Leaning into the moment,
Hearing the message we needed to hear
“We are doing the best we can” I told him
“I love you,” he assured me.
Embracing the shadows of my past and speaking to the little girl within
“I love you”
Transforming love from a dangerous enemy
Reaching out to me with kindness and compassion
Sheltering me from all the ugliness that I have known it to be in the past
A peace settled over me.

I looked love in the eyes and it met me with a long, warm embrace.

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