Skip to main content

My Brave New Voice

I fully believe the Universe gives us what we need when we don’t even know we need it. Last week, I had the privilege of attending the Ultimate Life Summit. I saw students embrace the concepts of the 7 Mindsets and begin to live them. Every day, I was more and more inspired both in education and in my life. And then the Ultimate Life Summit collided with Brave New Voices. We had the privilege to attend a couple of workshops at the BNV national convention. I went to the workshops expecting to learn how to be a better teacher. Instead, it was a life-altering personal experience. It was so powerful, I felt compelled to write for a few hours afterwards. Healing from the ugliness that remained after abuse so many years later. I share a piece of it with you.
Devin
We stood in the circle following the path of our eyes
It was him
The same young man I had seen three times in the last 24 hours
Over 20 workshops, and here he was in the same room
Ready to do some “Finding of the ‘ing in Thing”
Our eyes locked
I knew he was about to be a part of my –ing
“Follow the path of your eyes”
Over 50 people in the room and he stood in my eye path
I walked over
He was taller than I remembered
The partner process continued
As I meditated on the message from the 7Mindsets morning class
 “lean into it” when uncomfortable, 
be in the moment.

Sitting,
waiting,
standing.

“Use your partner as a mirror. What do you see?”
I looked into his eyes
I saw myself as a young, eager teacher ready to change the world,
Believing in the system that is education.
Superimposed with an educator who has grown tired
The spark gone from her eyes
Cynical about those who make the rules
Slowly the veteran faded away and the teacher became a
World Changer once again

Stepping closer he continues
Looking into my eyes, me
Resisting the urge to step back, the room around us
Disappearing as I continued
Gazing back into his eyes
Looking for more of what was
Connecting us
Tears filled his eyes
Causing me to want to draw closer, to comfort
In that moment, our souls united

“What did you always want to hear from your parents that you never did?”
Thoughts of protecting what was hiding within disappeared.
“We are doing the best we can.”
“I love you.”
Words escaped my mouth and caused me to pause
The 5 year old me
Speaking the words, “I love you.”
“We are doing the best we can.”
Looking deep within our souls through the eyes of the other
The fissure of self-realization continued to grow
Slowly a tear trickled down my cheek.

Seeing only him
He seeing only me
Alone in the room
“We are doing the best we can.”
“I love you.”
Growing stronger each time I heard myself speaking it
Time stood still
Eyes locked on the other’s inner being
Weaving our souls together
Vulnerable
In the moment
Being
Waiting
Loving

Leaning into the moment,
Hearing the message we needed to hear
“We are doing the best we can” I told him
“I love you,” he assured me.
Embracing the shadows of my past and speaking to the little girl within
“I love you”
Transforming love from a dangerous enemy
Reaching out to me with kindness and compassion
Sheltering me from all the ugliness that I have known it to be in the past
A peace settled over me.

I looked love in the eyes and it met me with a long, warm embrace.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Aging sucks.....or does it?

Upon first thought, watching a parent age sucks. Unnoticeable at first. A bit of a stoop, some creaking in the knees, whitening of the hair. The doctor’s visits begin, as do the pills One for high blood pressure, another to thin the blood, and a handful of vitamins to top it off. The signs are there, but it is easier to see him as he has always been. My father, a pillar of strength. Until my pillar was knocked off-kilter. A simple surgery and the mortality of my father looked me square in the eye when the drugs took hold of his brain. Amidst his fidgeting and confusion, I realized…AGING SUCKS! And then….enlightenment dawned upon me….AGING IS BEAUTIFUL Wrinkles tell of smiles while silver hair speaks a life of memories. Knees creaky after years of kneeling in prayer, offering up a lap, and climbing up the stairs for one more kiss goodnight. Almost forty-eight years of memories nestled in my heart. Memories of my father. Taking us to church each Sunday Building and fixing ...
2 comments
Read more

The Challenge of Five

Living alone is easy. Add one more person to the equation and it becomes a bit more challenging – especially when that person is a 13 year old. But in time, we figured it out. Somewhere in there, Beatrice joined us. With Thanksgiving came the joy of the five of us together for the week. And then reality set in as Tony and Sana began their trek back to New Hampshire. Our household of two was now a household of three as Sean made himself a home with us.   For the first five years of Sean’s life it was just he and I. How difficult could it be to have my 22-year-old son living with me again? A mother couldn’t ask for a better son. He is loving, kind, intelligent, and hard-working. He has grown into a fine young man who has lived on his own for the past three years. He has his own way of doing things.   I have my way of doing things. Needless to say, the two clash a bit. I tend to go with the flow and do things (supper, adventures, etc) as the mood strikes. He likes to plan eve...
2 comments
Read more

I Got the Call!

I began the day a bit down in the dumps. (As is very evident from the earlier blog entry of the day.) I was missing my family. Wondering about the risk we took. Uncertain how it would all work out. My brother, Jamie, insisted that Patti and I join his family for a Braves game. He bought us $1 tickets and told us to get to Turner Field. The great thing about Atlanta Braves games on a hot Sunday afternoon is that the turn-out is not very good. We followed Jamie toward his seats on the third base line and sat in a couple of empty ones about 20 rows back. By the end of the game, I was in the first row! Apparently it was too hot for many of the fans. The Braves trounced the Dodgers, 13-1. (Newly added to my bucket list: get to as many of the major league baseball parks as possible. I have been to three this summer alone!) Upon returning ‘home’ I decided to check out the possibility of more jobs. Curiosity led me to Manchester’s website. (Manchester is about 30 minutes away from whe...
3 comments
Read more