Where is the Love?

My bulletin board is being transformed right in front of my eyes. Each day I, along with all of my students, am watching a work of art being created.  Rising from the smoke a question is asked: “Where is the Love?” It is amazing to realize how one small song used in class over a month ago in one class has spread throughout the school. Since that time, it has become the ringtone for countless students; a feature on the school news pointing out positive behavior; and now, it is the focus of a mural in my classroom. 

Like the mural, my relationships with students are slowly being developed. The hugs continue on a daily basis. No longer am I just ‘Miss.’ They have learned my name and use it. (Although, many refer to me as ‘Mom’ instead.) Several students have decided it is okay to ‘snitch’ and seek me out to guide them through whatever is going on – fights, family issues, celebrations, etc. The list goes on.

Yesterday, one of my students brought up that he almost punched someone. As we discussed it, I asked him if he could give me his word that he wouldn’t hit anyone before Thanksgiving break. After thinking about it for a while, he gave me his word. Little did I know, he would be confronted with whether to hit or not to hit today during school.  I am happy to report he didn’t. In his words, “I would have hit him, Miss, but I told you I wouldn’t.” I told him I was proud of him, but I could tell the conversation was not over. He hemmed and hawed for a while before telling me that his friends were encouraging him to jump the boy because he could get into the gang.

These kids, like so many others, have difficulty seeing beyond the next five minutes. During this past week, I have had many conversations about being in a gang. What does it mean? Why is it so attractive? Can you get out? I want to learn. I want them to think through their choices. Where do they seem themselves in 10 years? 20? 30? Will being in a gang help them get there? I find it interesting that the two boys that have been talking to me about gangs are very different. One having difficulty detatching himself; the other choosing not to get in. 

Where is the love? In the case of these two boys, it is a place to be true to oneself on paper – both in the form of a mural and in a journal or staying after school with me on a daily basis. These two boys are a small example of the figurative mural I am working on this year. There are so many others like them that are looking for an adult to believe in them while guiding them in making tough decisions. I know building relationships with the students impacts their academic learning as well as character development. How do I share this with the other teachers. In my 17 years of teaching, some teachers are open to trying new things such as getting to know the students better, while others are jealous, upset, misunderstand, or are intimidated.  It is so easy to get caught up in the negativity of paperwork, miscommunication, and the long days. I have chosen to lead through example  and spend my time spreading the love.