Life in the Fast Lane

TO DO LIST: (for week of Feb. 7^th)

~ Monday - Write sub plans for Tuesday

~  Monday - Find home for stray dog

~ Tuesday - Take Patti to Early College meeting

~ Tuesday - Take car to garage

~ Thursday – Write sub plans for Friday

~ Every day - Write blog

~ Every day - Go to the gym at 5am

THE REALITY

Lesson plans took less time than expected on Sunday.  One would think that would leave me plenty of time during the week to read, hang out with family, run, whatever. That was my goal. I was looking forward to doing some writing about a myriad of topics – students moving in and out, family updates, and my attempt at a healthy life-style. Here it is Wednesday and it is my first night being home before 7pm. Between a stray dog landing on my doorstep on Monday and a car that wouldn’t start on Tuesday, not to mention the exhaustion that a 5am workout brings at 9pm at night, this is the first time I have had the opportunity to sit down and write this week.

I AM A STUDENT

Yesterday at my workshop, I was ‘that student.’ You know the one. The one that infuriates those around her because she doesn’t get it even after asking 23 clarifying questions. I usually find working in a group invigorating. I love bouncing ideas off of each other and coming up with a project. I was enjoying it yesterday. My group had an idea. We were good to go. Until we started trying to define what it was we were doing. Brainstorming continued. The three of us had different end results in our heads. I don’t know if we were having difficulty expressing them to each other or if we are out of practice planning with other people. I found myself getting frustrated. I didn’t get what they were trying to say! That is not typically me. My head started to hurt. I asked more questions. All the other groups had begun, but not us. 45 minutes later, what we as a group were trying to accomplish finally clicked in my head. I delved into the project and became a contributing member.  My head was hurting by the time I left.

 

On my way home, I reflected about the day. What was the cause of my frustration? Lack of understanding of our final product or was it the fact that I did not have total control over what the end result would be as I do when planning for my classes? I would like to think it was all focused around the lack of understanding, but if I am to be honest, it was more than that. When I have worked in groups in the past, often my vision was the one the group went after. The women I was working with Tuesday challenged my ideas and brought their own into the picture. By asking what I felt like were way too many questions, I was able to understand their concepts and begin to see how all our ideas could come together and make an incredible project. Once I began to see the big picture, I knew where we were headed and I was ready to get to work.

It took three adults 45 minutes to get a clear direction of where we were going. I put students together in groups all the time and expect them to decide on a project in a short amount of time. Talk about unrealistic! Do I let the students have the time necessary to ‘get messy’ when brainstorming? Do they know how to ask clarifying questions to gain a full understanding? Are their ideas heard within the group? It is time for me to do some reflecting on my practice and determine what I need to do to make it better.

Field trip during teacher workshop!

COMPARING SCORES

It happened. One minute I was on an absolute high as 8^th graders were begging me for more books. The next, I came crashing down feeling like the worst teacher in the world. The scores came in for the quarterly assessments. I looked over the data; noted the majority of scores that had gone up; and shared the students’ scores with them. I was still feeling pretty good about things until I walked into the teachers’ meeting where we were given the principal’s report. In other words, scores listed by teacher. The purpose of us seeing it is to know where our strengths lie on our team. I am sure I will get to that point soon.

In the meantime, I did what I encourage my students not to do. I began comparing the scores of my students to the scores of students in other classes. It was quite humbling to realize my scores are not all I hoped they would be. A dialogue running through my head the whole time:

     “The majority of your students’ scores went up. That is something to be proud of.”

     “But my scores are not as high as the other teachers.”

     “You teach two of the lowest groups. Compare your advanced scores. Those students did well.”

     “Can I get them ready for the EOG? If they do not perform well on it, they have to go through the hell of tutoring and retaking the test. And what if they have to go to waiver? They are reading, but is that enough?”

 If this conversation is going on in my mind, what type of conversation is happening in the heads of my students?

 

WHAT IT ALL MEANS

Amongst the hustle and bustle of the week, it is the writing that has made me take the time to reflect upon it all. It is during my time of reflection and writing that I am reminded of he importance of being flexible as learned through an emaciated stray on my doorstep or a car not starting. The reminder that understanding does not always come easily. Most importantly, the knowledge that while I am a good teacher, I am not great. There is still much learning left for me to do.