Skip to main content

Testing Forgotten for a Moment of Me


In the past week, I have celebrated with students as they heard the news they passed the test; I have consoled students who are still uncertain about whether they will be promoted or not; I have broken the news to students that they are being considered for retention; and I have called many parents with the news that their child has failed the test yet again. In the midst of all the testing and paperwork, I tend to forget that life goes on outside of the four walls of school. Today, I was reminded with a phone call.

Last week I had my first mammogram in ten years. I figured it was the responsible thing to do considering my grandmother had breast cancer and I now have insurance. I laughed and joked with the mammography technologist as she placed stickers on my nipples. I posed in each awkward position with a smile for the camera. As I left the building, I thought no more about it. Until today when I listened to my messages.

It seems I need to go back for a diagnostic mammogram in a couple of weeks. Life came crashing in, screaming at me to slow down and take care of the person closest to me. Me. I try to tell it I do not have the time or money right now. I have things to do. I need to find a job. I want a stress free start to my summer vacation. I know it is nothing - just some scars from my breast reduction years ago.

And then the small whisper begins to grow. What if it is more than scars? What if it is the dreaded ‘C’ word? Reality grasps ahold of me and demands my attention. In the small chance that it is something more than scars from long ago, I need to know.  Testing forgotten, I get out my calendar and mark the date. This time I plan to get some tassels for my nipple stickers.

Comments

  1. LisaMay 27, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    Everytime I get a mammogram, I go through the same range of emotions. It's an evolution of sorts.

    I also have scars. Mine are from the previous year's biopsies. Each time, I can literally feel heat go from my toes to my head as I hear the words "you need to come back for additional tests to rule out cancer".

    Every year I vow not to go through the worry until I have something concrete to worry about. Each year, I don't remember that vow. A year and a half ago, I had to undergo two biopsies. Each one came back inconclusive, till finally they just removed the lumps altogether and sent them off to determine the nature. Benign. I could breathe easy for another year. My mammogram was scheduled for May 25th and my mother's trip to FL prompted a rescheduling. End of June before I feel that dreaded heat again...perfect timing. I can blame it on the humidity and not my forgetfulness...

    Thinking of you and reminding you that 80% or more...benign.

    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    Oh Mandie heres hoping it is only scar tissue BUT it is good you are going now to get it rechecked. DO NOT ever let anything along this line go UNTIL LATER. Later may be TOO late. I will be praying for you. Take care and keep us informed. Love you. Marguerite

    ReplyDelete
  3. TracyMay 27, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    Please know that you are in my prayers. I am a "C" Survivor and each year I fear the results of those annual exams that tell me whether it is back or still gone (forever gone, I hope). Early detection is the key. We have to take care of ourselves so we can be around to take care of others. Life is too precious and the present is truly a gift. Think positive thoughts and laugh plenty!

    Tracy

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 27, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    You are the only YOU there is. YES, it's time to take proper care of her. We love you and want you healthy. xxoo Your loving Mumsey

    ReplyDelete
  5. James AMay 27, 2011 at 10:20 PM

    Always an extra prayer for you in my heart. I love you and will keep you before our Lord. Dad

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Aging sucks.....or does it?

Upon first thought, watching a parent age sucks. Unnoticeable at first. A bit of a stoop, some creaking in the knees, whitening of the hair. The doctor’s visits begin, as do the pills One for high blood pressure, another to thin the blood, and a handful of vitamins to top it off. The signs are there, but it is easier to see him as he has always been. My father, a pillar of strength. Until my pillar was knocked off-kilter. A simple surgery and the mortality of my father looked me square in the eye when the drugs took hold of his brain. Amidst his fidgeting and confusion, I realized…AGING SUCKS! And then….enlightenment dawned upon me….AGING IS BEAUTIFUL Wrinkles tell of smiles while silver hair speaks a life of memories. Knees creaky after years of kneeling in prayer, offering up a lap, and climbing up the stairs for one more kiss goodnight. Almost forty-eight years of memories nestled in my heart. Memories of my father. Taking us to church each Sunday Building and fixing ...
2 comments
Read more

The Challenge of Five

Living alone is easy. Add one more person to the equation and it becomes a bit more challenging – especially when that person is a 13 year old. But in time, we figured it out. Somewhere in there, Beatrice joined us. With Thanksgiving came the joy of the five of us together for the week. And then reality set in as Tony and Sana began their trek back to New Hampshire. Our household of two was now a household of three as Sean made himself a home with us.   For the first five years of Sean’s life it was just he and I. How difficult could it be to have my 22-year-old son living with me again? A mother couldn’t ask for a better son. He is loving, kind, intelligent, and hard-working. He has grown into a fine young man who has lived on his own for the past three years. He has his own way of doing things.   I have my way of doing things. Needless to say, the two clash a bit. I tend to go with the flow and do things (supper, adventures, etc) as the mood strikes. He likes to plan eve...
2 comments
Read more

I Got the Call!

I began the day a bit down in the dumps. (As is very evident from the earlier blog entry of the day.) I was missing my family. Wondering about the risk we took. Uncertain how it would all work out. My brother, Jamie, insisted that Patti and I join his family for a Braves game. He bought us $1 tickets and told us to get to Turner Field. The great thing about Atlanta Braves games on a hot Sunday afternoon is that the turn-out is not very good. We followed Jamie toward his seats on the third base line and sat in a couple of empty ones about 20 rows back. By the end of the game, I was in the first row! Apparently it was too hot for many of the fans. The Braves trounced the Dodgers, 13-1. (Newly added to my bucket list: get to as many of the major league baseball parks as possible. I have been to three this summer alone!) Upon returning ‘home’ I decided to check out the possibility of more jobs. Curiosity led me to Manchester’s website. (Manchester is about 30 minutes away from whe...
3 comments
Read more