The war of uncertainty inside my head was raging as I walked into school yesterday to pack up my belongings. What will happen for the kids I took under my wing? Who will advocate for them? What is next for me? Will I be able to find a job close to home? Is it time to change careers? Do I need to start teaching to the test more blatantly?
I met teachers along the way. Telling them my news and saying goodbye. Well wishes and affirmation that I am a good teacher. Due to the fact I didn’t have the opportunity to tell my students, the hardest person to break the news to was the guidance counselor. I don’t know if she is aware of it, but she was my rock throughout the year. After the tears were shed, she asked if I ever taught in an inner-city school. She began to describe her vision of me in that setting. I saw it. I felt it. Later, the assistant principal mentioned something similar.
Throughout the day, tears came and went as the voices inside my head began to change their tune. Mandie, you need to work in a high needs school. With at-risk students. That is where you do your best work. Not many people want those jobs. There is sure to be something in the Raleigh/Durham area. You need those kids. They need you. Be true to you!
Steps I will be taking to stay true to the teacher I want to be:
1. Get a job working with kids that very few teachers want in their classroom.
2. Meet them where they are. Build relationships.
3. Find a way to hook them into the joy of learning.
4. I am not sure how to put this step into words. This is where the magic happens. The piece I really have no control over. The part where they blossom as the young men and women they are.
The war over, the work begins now. My resume updated ready to go out. Letters of recommendation requested. Time to research openings and fill out applications. The adventure continues.
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