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A craigslist ad wanting to end it all


When one find themselves alone after being married and having companionship for 19 years, it gets lonely from time to time. A few weeks ago, I found myself overwhelmed with loneliness as a river of tears streamed down my face. I knew I needed to get up and run. Do my laundry. Grade papers. Anything. Yet the ropes of despair tied me to my bed. For two weekends this happened. I told no one. I reached out to no one. I was alone. Thankfully, I never got so low that I wanted to end it all.

Why do I bring this up now? This morning I was checking the ‘Strictly Platonic’ section of craigslist. (Believe it or not, I have met a couple of really cool people.) Today, an entry grabbed my attention. Not because it was a potential activity partner, but rather the heading: “I want to end it all. Where can I get help?” I glanced at it and continued scrolling down. It was only a couple of seconds later until I was emailing the person. I wanted to let him know that someone cared about him. As soon as I hit send, I called the suicide hotline to get some guidance about what to do. After being transferred by recording three times, I was put on hold. At five minutes, I hung up. FIVE MINUTES! I am not a very patient person when I want something. I couldn’t help but feeling if I were hoping for someone to talk me out of killing myself, would I wait FIVE MINUTES! I don’t know how much longer it would have been until somebody answered.

Thank you Mandie. I really just need to know there are people who care left in this world. I am going through something that has been devastating for me and causes me to be suicidal.

I did what I do with my students when they are going through tough stuff. I acknowledged that life sometimes sucks. I reminded him that the passing of time tends to make things easier and that there are people out there who care about him. With each email I sent him, I closed with “Hugs, Mandie.” At our lowest, a hug can make things seem a bit better even when it is an electronic one.

We swapped a few more emails throughout the day. I gave him a list of support groups per his request. Before riding, I checked in with him again. Upon my return home tonight, I sent another.
Hi again,
Hoping you have found something to smile about today. Even for a short time.
Hugs,
Mandie

Hey Mandie
You have given me something to smile about.
You have restored my faith in humanity. Thank you.
Big hug

A few more emails were exchanged. Nothing profound. Just a few words to let a stranger know he was worthwhile. All day long as this was transpiring, I thought back to the profound loneliness I went through not so long ago. Most of the time, all it took was to know that someone cared. On the one level, I knew there were people out there who care about me. Lots of them. However, I did not want to bother them with my little problem of feeling alone. I took the time to cry. To grieve the end of my marriage. Each time at the end of the tears, there was someone there for me whether it was a hug from my roommate, a phone call from a family member, or a letter of affirmation on Facebook.

We never know the impact we have on someone’s life. I challenge all of you to take the time to stop for a moment and give a stranger a few minutes of you through a listening ear, a smile, or buying a cup of coffee for someone down on their luck. From that moment comes human connection and a connection to humanity.

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