I have hung out with many men in the last few months. Some
as friends, others dates. I enjoyed a plethora of activities with them: riding,
movies, working on my car, drinks, and texting among other things. We have met
in a variety of ways: the flea market, online dating, craigslist, and belonging
to common groups. Some of these men are pretty amazing as far as the species
goes, others not so much. However, the man I spent a chunk of last week with
was by far my favorite. If ever I have a partner in my life again, I want it to
be one with qualities my son has developed.
Go with the flow kind
of guy. When meeting him at the airport, the plan was for Sana and I to
surprise him at the gate. Unbeknownst to us, he was with Patti and the flag
line after security. Rather then getting upset or impatient at having to wait
for us to get to him, he laughed it off. We laughed about it all week.
Giving. The first
thing Sean gave me when he stepped off the plane (after a hug) were two patches
he wore while deployed, his name and the flag. We weren’t even out of the
airport. When he saw how well I had sewn them on my vest, he laughed. Hard.
Apparently, I do not know the proper technique for sewing patches. If only I
had Velcro like he does on his uniform…
Open to new people.
What could be better than a Welcome Home party put on by people you don’t know?
Most of the guests being complete strangers, of course. Sean took it in stride
and enjoyed the comaraderie of his fellow veterans. He even joined in the fun
of calling out the Marines. By the end of the night, he had several new
friends.
Willing to do the
unpopular. When one returns from deployment, a tattoo is often one of the
first events to take place. Or so I am told. (I imagine the drinking and the
strip joints are up there in the top three also.) Rather than get a tattoo with
his buddies, Sean waited to get one with me while he was here. Imagine…your
first tattoo with your mother! How cool is that?! As the mother, I thought it
was very cool! Even as his brothers-in-arms gave him trouble, his skin remained
untouched until we entered Eternal Ink together.
A sense of humor.
When getting tattoos with one’s mother, it is important to get a picture of the
two pieces of artwork side by side, even if it is on two different parts of the
body. The laughter that happened that night was the thing memories are made of.
The pictures not so much.
Wisdom. My son
went to war. While he was there, he learned something important. Life is simple. It is us that make it
complicated with social media, drama, and things. To really enjoy life, we need
to find our happiness within and not stress about the little things. Life is
too short for that. While he was in Afghanistan, his wisdom often gave me the
reminders I needed.
Willing to answer
questions. It is a joke with my children that I am able to ask a question
four times before they can get irritated with me. The age thing, you know.
Maybe that would fit under the patience category. While home, Sean was a guest
speaker at Franklin Academy where he spoke to almost 500 students. At the end
of his speech, he answered every question the kids had. There were many.
Repeated questions as well as silly questions. He answered them all with poise
and grace.
Love me for me. One
might think he needs to love me for me because I am his mother. Maybe. However,
in the time since he graduated high school, I have changed and I continue to
change into the woman I am becoming. He makes no judgments and loves me for me.
If you are that man out there meant for me, take some time
to get to know the man who I am proud to call my son.
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