Jumpin' Off the Edge

2K13. The year I found my voice and began a transformation. Yet rather than blog about my year, I made a movie.  I was telling my sister about being a bit down in the dumps on my birthday because my date cancelled on me and things didn’t go as planned with my girls. She responded with, “That’s because you didn’t go to the person you can always count on. You.”  I have been thinking about that a lot since she said it. My movie is one of love. Love for family, friends, students, strangers, and most importantly, me. You see, it is important to celebrate the ones we love. The pictures speak for themselves. If you listen closely, the songs do as well. Each one chosen for a specific purpose. You’re the Reason – Awhile back Patti gave me the song and told me it reminded her of our relationship. It made me cry. I cried again today when I chose it realizing that even with the change in our family dynamics, my children give me what I need to soar. Walk -  “I’m l...

On October 27, I crossed the finish line of the Marine Corps Marathon. I know many would like to hear all about it. Words would not do the experience justice. There is no way to convey the emotions in the days leading up to the big race. Time spent at Walter Reed Hospital with three very special Wounded Warriors. Meeting the man that Sean helped save when he hit an IED. Loneliness and fear the night before because of no one to celebrate with at the finish line. The anticipation of the starting line. Running through the blue mile reading every single one of the displayed names of men and women who have died in this war. The tears that overtook me at mile 24. Woody’s voice playing in my head. Crossing the finish line and feeling at the peace celebrating alone.  (My celebrating came the next day with my students.) My students spend more time with me than anyone else. I kept them informed of the entire marathon journey. They supported me with posters, cards, a...

Me! Running a marathon! Who would have ever thought?! Certainly not me, let alone anyone else that knew me back in my 20s and 30s. Yet, here I am. All dressed out in my special running clothes waiting to head to the starting line of the Marine Corps Marathon. Last night was a night of little sleep. I went to bed early and sleep came almost immediately. Yet, every half hour I was awake looking at the clock. I was sure I would oversleep. Today will be a day I will run. I will do as my sister suggests and Be sad. Run Happy. This race is where the baggage along the way gets left behind and the transformation from runner to marathoner to strong, independent woman happens in a tangible way. Watch out world. Here I come!

The weekend of the Marine Corps Marathon is here! I was feeling pretty much ready, but there was still a bit of doubt. Today, all that doubt was erased with a simple visit to Walter Reed Medical Center.   I wasn’t sure what to expect. I have volunteered several times in the psych ward in the VA hospital close to home. I was pretty sure this visit would be nothing like that. And it wasn’t. I met three incredible men who will be the ones carrying me when I hit my wall.  Right from the time I met him, the easy-going cheerful nature of Douglas or Charles depending on what I preferred, kept me smiling. He brightens up whatever room he is in. The discussion of the best costumes for amputees had me in stitches. They all took advantage of their lack of legs. His plan is to be Yoda. (Anybody know where he can get a costume in the next couple of days.) There is nothing that will stop him. He is currently in the market for legs that can be worn with waders....

  As the day of the big race draws closer, I am overcome with emotion. Upon looking at the picture above (thanks Deb), I realized the Marine Corps Marathon has become more than a race to me. It is not about the race, it is about the transformation into the woman I am becoming. It is about believing in the woman I am. It is about me. When I signed up for the race back in March, I was mired in loneliness and the desperation of wanting companionship. In the three months before the training began, I bought Layla (my motorcycle), moved into my own place, and spent a lot of time alone – the way I have done the majority of my training. In the past, when training for a longer race, I frequently ran my long runs with running partners. This time, it was all me with the exception of one long run. (That was the 14 mile run I pulled my hamstring. I was so thankful to have Rebecca with me to give guidance on what to do so I could continue the run.) My runs were done witho...

This one goes out to all the men and women who are willing to sacrifice their lives, peace of mind, and whatever else is asked of them to maintain our way of life. Walking up to the state capitol today, I could tell it was going to be different from the other times I attended the reading of the names to remember the men from North Carolina still unaccounted for from the war in Southeast Asia (better known to us as the Vietnam War).  A crowd of veterans was gathering on the lawn of the capitol as the area around the Vietnam War Memorial was prepared. Flags for the US, NC, NCVVI, and each of the military branches were placed in the ground. The sound system put in place. And the missing man table set for another month of remembrance. The lawn was abuzz with men and women sporting the patches of Rolling Thunder, American Legion Riders, and Combat Veterans.  All here to remember the 41 from North Carolina who have yet to come home. The past few months I have attended, spectato...

What most of you don’t know is that I was about to give up the whole idea of the marathon. Until today, it had been four weeks since I had run more than ten miles in its entirety. The last two long runs I did were a month ago. And I walked a chunk of each of them. My reasoning had everything to do with it being too hot, too dehydrated and/or telling myself I needed to be able to run again after walking. And then, I realized I screwed up and started my training by two weeks early. For the next two weeks, I didn’t do any long runs. The week I went camping, I brought my running stuff, but never took it out of my suitcase. Somewhere in all of this, I was over it. Done with running. Last night, I got a message from a friend who is running the Marine Corps Marathon because of me. She signed up never having run anything more than a 5K. She signed up because I believed in her and told her so. Her message came at the perfect time. We made plans to meet for breakfast, which ...