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170.2


“Mrs. Victor, my mother told me she saw you at Weight Watchers last night!” one of my students yelled across the cafeteria to me. Cringing inside that my secret was now out to my students, I smiled and told him she sure did. I have been talking to all my classes about going to the gym each morning. Why did the fact that now they knew I was ‘watching my weight’ bother me?

Talking about women and weight is taboo. Uncomfortable. The unspeakable. In the past eight months I have written about many uncomfortable topics. It is time to address yet another. My weight. Do I dare write it down? Put it out there for the world to see? What the hell? At my largest, I was 197 pounds. I am currently 170.2 according to the Weight Watchers scales. I was at 180 when I began at the beginning of January. As you can see, it has taken me some time to get going. I played around with the whole Points Plus system.  Unfortunately, exercise was not a consistent part of my day until February. Therefore, I saw a little loss and much gaining back. When I finally decided to get serious at the gym, the weight started coming off a little bit at a time.

4:45am each morning my alarm goes off. Grabbing my New Weight-Loss for Women book, gloves, and iPod, I head out the door in the dark of the early morning. It is my time of the day. Time for me to disappear into my music and focus on me. Time to feel the weight of the barbell as I try not to notice my bulging belly as I squat to the ground. Time to challenge myself to reach toward my goal of doing a real push-up. (I have a ways to go. Until then, my push-ups are at either a 45 or 30 degree angle.) I walk into the gym groggy. I leave with a bounce in my step. The gym is what keeps me going. Three days a week of weight training. Two of cardio. And Zumba on Saturday.

Tomorrow I will be running extra. Oreos and fried ice cream are not a good way to sculpt the body into sexy. The sculpting I am doing is not about losing weight, but rather changing my lifestyle. I do my best to eat five times a day. Healthy food, at that. Today, I wanted something more. I don’t know if my body will ever see the magic number that I have in my head (130 pounds). Whether it happens or not, I am no longer going to let a number dictate how I feel about myself! I know my muscles are growing, my mood is altering, and I feel good! 

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 10, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    Mandie I know from experience that each time you lose weight and gain some back then lose weight again it is much harder to lose--especially after doing this several times (each time gets harder and harder for it to come off ) I am exercising 4 times a week (granted it is with people my age and geared for us But I don't seem to be losing but people are telling me I look good so I think I am just toning up). Good luck. also last summer when you was here I noticed how thin you looked and with all you are doing you have to be in good shape even if the scales are not telling you that. Love you. Marguerite

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