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I Wonder....


This is the first year the state of North Carolina did not teach abstinence only as the only form of birth control. Unfortunately, this year’s class was only a week long. Boys and girls separated. Classes of 50 students each. No anonymous question box. No question and answer period. No risk-taking in the classroom on the part of the students. Very different from the way I used to teach it. Just the delivery of information the way the state wrote it.

While I applaud the fact that NC is facing the fact that kids are having sex, education needs to go further. I heard rumor that FOUR girls in our middle school are pregnant. Will a more open, intensive sex education program make a difference for these girls? Whether it is a home or school, it is time for frank, open discussions about sex and what it means.

Pregnancy is only one result of sex. I wonder how many are sexually active and not pregnant? How many are carrying and sharing hidden STDs that have yet to show themselves? How many think sex is the only way to be ‘loved’ from another person? What is the age difference between the boy and the girl? In the cases I know about, the boys are older. The girls are the ones on my mind right now. How to we teach them that they have value? That love is more than an act in the heat of passion? That a baby will change their lives forever – regardless of whether they choose adoption, abortion, or to keep it?

I have been cautioned repeatedly about letting students read books in which the characters are having sex. (Of course, I throw caution to the wind and keep them on my bookshelves.) We want our children to keep their innocence as long as possible. Therefore, we aren’t supposed talk about the things that might taint them – sex, drugs, gangs, etc… However, they are talking about it amongst themselves.

I believe it is time for the adults in their lives (parents, teachers, etc) to have matter-of-fact honest discussions with them. Will these discussions have an impact on the choices kids make? Maybe not, but at least they know two things: 1) accurate information, and 2) someone cares enough to give them the information.

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