Emptiness. Upon arriving at school this morning, I learned that my neighboring colleague would not be at school. No biggie. We all get sick and go to workshops. I thought nothing off it…until a student gave me a letter to read. He had resigned for personal reasons effective immediately. I was stunned and saddened. For the last two weeks I have been talking to this teacher about ways that we could integrate our curriculum next year. So many ideas. Both of us strong, experienced teachers. We had amazing plans to use the students’ favorite explanation, racism, as a backdrop for inquiry. He will not be returning. I miss him already. He was tough with the students, but he got results. As one student told me, “He helped us bring up our grades.” No doubt his next place of employment will appreciate all he brings their way.
Something was missing on the soccer field this afternoon. Not only the seven players that didn’t come to practice due to injury or just not wanting to – Sean wasn’t there. The energy level was a bit lower than usual. I believe Sean is only a small part of it. Complacency has become a part of our team. It is nothing for the girls to tell me they will not be attending practice or just not show up. I can’t remember the last practice where we had enough girls to field a team. I question whether I should call them together and ask for a commitment. Is it worth continuing the season when our team is not consistent? Maybe things will change after vacation, which cannot come soon enough.
A few days ago, I wrote about middle school girls and the rumors of pregnancies. Over the weekend, I contemplated the best way to handle the situation. Should I go to the guidance counselor? Call the parents? Talk to the girls? Me, being me, I talked to the girls. All but one. I asked them point blank if they were pregnant. (It sounds rather abrupt; however, the question was part of a larger conversation.) The first question they asked, “Who told you?” Of course, it doesn’t matter how I found out. Two of the girls confirmed they were pregnant. One said no and I have yet to have an opportunity to talk to the fourth. And then today…
“Can a 13-year-old die from having a baby?” All day long she had been telling me she had a question for me. I had no idea it was going to be that one. That was only the beginning. There were many more questions to come. I answered her questions frankly and honestly. She told me she came to me because I would answer her questions and wouldn’t tell anyone. (I cleared that up with the information that I wanted to keep her safe and would tell someone if I felt she wasn’t.) I am happy to say, she is not having sex. However, she has a new boyfriend and is questioning things. Do you lose your virginity when you have oral sex? How far is too far? How do you stop when you don’t want to? All wonderful questions. Throughout the conversation, abstinence was the focus. And then, I began wondering, as I often do.
I wondered who kids talk to when they have embarrassing and tough questions. Do they all have an adult they can go to? And what about the girl who rumored to be trying to get pregnant? How can we help her (and many others in her shoes) find value and confidence in herself so that physical attention from a boy is not necessary? I wondered about the girl that came to me with the question. She has had many difficult situations in her life. Yet, she has no resentment and is not a victim. She is a survivor. She gets good grades and is one of the nicest people I know. I asked her if she knew what made her so resilient. Her response, “I pray. A lot.” And she gave me a big smile. Our conversation ended at that point, but I have no doubt there will be many more to come.
Also happening today was the joy (not!) of quarterly assessments. The second day of two hours for students to take tests in reading and math to check their progress for the EOGs. Students enter a zombie-like state upon completion of the testing, thus adding to the challenge of the day. While there were downs, there were also ups to the day. Alicia Keys took center stage in class to perform her poem POW (Def Poetry Jam online). Students are beginning to understand the power of reading poetry aloud. Can’t wait until tomorrow when Tupac is our guide.
All-in-all a good day, albeit a sad one.
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