Jumpin' Off the Edge

A while ago, a friend suggested that I try Reiki to help me with my energy. I felt electric. I had so much coursing through my body, I didn’t know what to do with it. Since that time, I have experienced things that have beat me down. Broken me. My energy is no longer electric. However, I was still curious about it. The day I saw a Groupon for it, I knew I had to give it a try. After waiting four weeks for my appointment, I experienced it today. I share it with you in free verse.   Some people experience visions, strong emotions, It brings things to the surface for many And some go to sleep She told me. I will use my energy to become a spotlight for you And leave you with a flashlight To continue what begins today If you so choose. How you respond is up to you. In order to give it a fair try, I knew I had to be all in Open to whatever would come my way She told me I could take my clothes off or leave them on. I took them off. Ski

I always wondered what it looks like when one bares their soul and shows all the ugliness that resides within. I know the discomfort of baring my body full of flab and wrinkles. Conscientious of every imperfection. In the past, I was afraid of being rejected because of what my stomach looked like. I have moved beyond that. The majority of the time, I see my body as beautiful – imperfections and all. The soul is a different matter. Would I ever be willing to let anyone see the malevolence of what lies within? This past year I have focused on becoming a better me. The me I want to be. I find myself feeling deeper than I ever have in the past. Feelings are so strong they tend to overwhelm me…such joy that I feel the need to dance and sing. Happiness making it imperative to pass on to a stranger. The yin side of things is easy. It is the yang that took me by surprise today. The ugliness of the negative feelings of anger, insecurity, and frustration stripped a

Calling upon words to help me clear my head, dispel the hate welling up inside. Fractured thoughts swirling in my mind as tears roll down my cheeks I do not hate; It is not what I am about. Yet today, I find myself filled with so much ugliness It hurts me inside. It will be over soon; I can do this on my own. Yet even so, I wonder why I have so much revulsion for I have found my voice. He will have someone at his side Prompting him on what is best. Alone never seemed so scary, so daunting Distrust of what will be. Even as I ride the wave of the negative I know I am powerful knowing I can conquer anything because of the positive energy that surrounds me. And with that realization, I take a deep breath. Expend a few more tears. And know it will be over soon.

My Facebook profile picture. So many people commenting on my beauty. My emotions runneth over ... When I was younger, I remember crying every time my picture was taken. Somewhere in the past few years, I started having fun with taking pictures with others. Selfies with my girls have become a tradition. We take at least one every time we are together. Selfies with strangers bring smiles to all involved. A couple of weeks ago, I asked my friend who was getting into photography if she would be willing to take some pictures of what 50 looks like on me. What I thought would be photos showing the fun-loving, positive woman I am, showed so much more than I was expecting. As I looked at them, I was overcome with emotion.  Tears fell as I saw the journey I have been on this last year symbolized in the pictures. From the messy, yet beautiful, graffiti-laced  location of the shoot to the editing of the photos, Michell Bowers went behind my smile captured all of me…the confidenc

After a couple of weeks of feeling like a teenager again with late night phone calls lasting for hours and hundreds of texts shared, I was hooked. While we didn't ever meet In person, the more we talked, the more I grew to like him. And then he fell off the face of the earth with no explanation. My reaction varied from worry to anger to hurt. I felt this one a bit more than the others. And then I decided to take action by identifying "that man" by using my experience with him and all the other men I have dated.  Adam Levine could be that man...if he wasn't engaged.  The one whom I will commit to: 1. He does not see me as a sexual object. Sex. Ever since I can remember, I have been taught through the norms of society that sex is not something to be talked about. Here I am bringing it up first thing. The reality...sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. Thus, it tends to be a topic of conversation. I am a 50 year old woman who tends to be forthright