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The Christmas Ache

Christmas. For many it is a joyful day filled with family and good food, for others it is a struggle to get through the day.  Yesterday was my final Christmas waking up in an empty house. I don't want to do it again. The 50 plus years of waking up super early to either sneak to the tree and open my stocking or hear my kids do the same has made the silence of Christmas morning unbearable. The last four years, I have been waking up to an empty house. I had invites this year from every member of my family. I declined them for a variety of reasons, which do not matter in this piece of writing. What matters is today I talked to people who also struggled through Christmas day.  When alone, one can get caught up in one's feelings and think they are the only one going through whatever it is. In this case, being alone on Christmas. The ache inside begins. The tears flow. It doesn't help that the Hallmark channel is playing the formulaic Christmas movies. You know the one. It