Jumpin' Off the Edge

I recently started reading strangers’ blogs. What began as a way for me to make my own blog more enticing to readers, has turned into something all together different. One blog entry in particular has needled its way into my brain. Five days after reading it, I can’t get it out of my mind. The post was about the Disease called “Perfection.”  The end of the blog leaves the reader with a challenge: Be real. Be bold about your weaknesses and you   will   change people’s lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you. Since I started this blog, honesty has been the root of it. Therefore, anyone who has read it knows that I am not perfect.  So here it is. Me being real. In school, I never saw myself as good enough. I wanted popularity and all that it brought. The reflection looking back at me in the mirror was an ugly girl who was fat, not pretty, and wore ugly hand-me-downs. I believed my guidance coun

A mother and daughter relationship. Is there anything more tenuous? She tests every limit and button I have. Just when I think there are no more for her to discover, another one appears. The nastiness that she spews gets into my pores as her poison spreads throughout my body. I long for escape. A time to listen to the silence respect brings. I remember the days when she would look at me with stars in her eyes. A “no” answer brought tears, which quickly were forgotten with a hug. Now she just looks at me with contempt when things don’t go her way. When it was just the two of us, we had to rely on one another. We both found a strength we didn’t know we had and our relationship blossomed. Our weekends were filled with adventures of discovery. Weekdays meant school and soccer. As the rest of the family began to join us, it changed. She no longer needed me for everything. First there was her brother. Soon after, her father and sister. Eight months later, only the memories remain

Three weeks ago, I joined one of the local gyms. I even signed up for a cross-fit class. On my way to work every day for the last couple of weeks, I would glance at the gym as I drove by and think, “I really need to start working out. Tonight. I will do it tonight.” Night would come and I would come up with several hundred reasons why I couldn’t go. One week I even set my alarm clock early in the morning to get up and go. I hit the snooze button and rolled over and went back to sleep. I kicked myself an hour later when I crawled out of bed. And then came the phone call. “Hi Mandie. It’s Kent from Anytime Fitness. I am just checking in with you.” First off, I have never had a trainer from the gym call me to check in. Secondly, I have never had a trainer call to remind me of a class I signed up for. Talk about a kick in the ass! We set up a time for me to go in and learn the equipment. When I finally made it to the gym for my orientation, I was asked, “What are your goals?” T

What a day! It was just as busy and hectic as it was wonderful. In the interest of writing in a different genre, this entry is going to be a review of my day…several reviews actually. Think of it as a small edition of Consumer Reports for Teachers. Consumers being the students, of course.   Grammar Concert   No one had ever heard of a Grammar Concert before. I went into this one with confidence that only a teacher who has been winging it the last 18 years can do. Immediately upon entering the theater, it was apparent something exciting was about to happen. Seventy-five 7 th grade students gathered on the stage dressed in white tee-shirts decorated in a Grammar motif. (Whoever heard of such a thing?) The theater quickly filled up with parents, younger students, and 7 th graders not currently enrolled in Grammar class. The concert began a few minutes late due to technical issues. Upon seeing a 7 th grader at the computer to control the music, it was apparent that all students

A knock sounded at my classroom door. “The World Trade Center has been hit by a plane.” Tears streamed down her face as she told me. I didn’t understand the big deal. A plane crash is horrendous, yes; but to cry about it? And then she told me about the second tower being hit moments later. It was then that I understood the significance. I took a deep breath and went back into my classroom to tell my 7 th grade class the news. Ten years later, almost to the day, I find myself sitting in a different school gym with 400 middle school students ready to commemorate the memory of that day that is etched in my memory forever. My students at Franklin Academy have been talking about this day since the beginning of the year. The 7th grade team, of which I am a part, heads up the ‘We Grow Heroes’ service project that goes along with it. Even after all the meetings, I had no idea what to expect. A grabbed a tissue as they went by and was ready for what the day would bring. Or so I thought.

“Are you the coach? My son dropped out of the race without finishing. He was sitting down rather discouraged when one of your boys, I don’t know which one, walked over to him and told him he did a good job. I meant a lot to my son. I thought it was pretty neat that someone from another team would go out of their way to compliment him.” All through the races at our meet today, I watched my cross country team cheer on runners not only from their team, but from the other teams as well. When there were only one or two runners out on the course, some of my runners went out on the course to cheer them in. When a girl from another team was in last place struggling to finish due to an asthma attack, they walked on either side of her until she crossed the finish line safely. When a the crowd had been waiting minutes for the last runner in the boys’ race to come in, they went out to find him on the course and ran with him until he reached the stretch where the crowd was. At that point, th

Recently, I have been reminded of how alcoholism messes with a person’s life. I can’t seem to get it off my mind. It is hard to watch good people fall into the nothingness of it. Thus, my letter to the demon itself. Dear Hooch and Friends, You and I have never been great friends. Occasionally, I will spend a few hours visiting with you. As you know, I don’t let you stay for long. I never let you cause me to lose my mind. Or my inhibitions, for that matter. Our acquaintance is one of congeniality. We know how to treat each other. Unfortunately, that is not the same for some people I care about – past and present – and it pisses me off. You are a poison that overtakes the soul of a beautiful person causing ugliness. Rather than the ability to see the blessings which surround them, your friends focus on the hideousness of the situation. You trap them in despair. A once responsible man becomes unable to get out of his own shadow. He takes you to work with him…when he

The buzz of energy can be felt the minute you walk into my classroom. My room is not one of placidly sitting and listening. A quiet, monotone voice? Nope, won’t find that there either. I am usually the nucleus of the energy. Add the pep and enthusiasm of my team teacher, and second and fourth period become electrifying.   We both have a spring in our step. The kids don't stand a chance. Today, after a very busy morning, I slowed it down a bit – more for my sanity than anything else. I turned half the lights off, spoke in a quieter voice, and slowed down my rate of speech. Funny thing, the kids followed my lead. There was less competing to tell me a life event related to our lesson. When they did share their ideas, they waited their turn. It was a successful and productive class. I know the whole scene mentioned above will not happen all the time. It is not who I am. Oddly enough, after about ten minutes, it took me extra energy and effort to keep the slowe