Jumpin' Off the Edge

I can’t find a quiet place to write. So many thoughts swimming through my mind. For the last hour, I have been trying to get it all down on paper, but to no avail. It began as a poem until the chaos of a few exercising at my feet crashed into my creative flow and brought it to an end. The second attempt brought forth the beginnings of a narrative.   This time the eruptions of an argument blocked the words from flowing.   Siblings forgetting how much they missed each other over the last few months. My fingers starting to let the words flow before coming to a halt when the next demand came. With the temporary silence come the ideas once again. So much to write about. Knowing the importance of using this time to process all that is on my mind, I attempt anew. Headphones hugging my ears, Eric Clapton transports me into that place deep inside my mind where the writing takes place. Unfortunately, the writing is not coming even though the ideas are swirling around as if in a whirlpool

What a week! I am celebrating so many thing….the anticipation of our family reuniting, my NC certification, time with my parents, and just loving life. Tony decided he would rather be with me than a job that wasn’t working out. As I write, he and Sana are packing up and heading down when it stops snowing long enough. He has no job. We have no idea where Sana will go to school. However, we figure it out after our household is once again complete. After months of paperwork, my North Carolina certification has come through! Although I am not certified to teach Special Education (have to take a test for that), I can teach K-6 and Language Arts in grades 6-9. At some point, I will jump through the special education hoop. Although, I would rather not be labeled as an EC teacher. Too much paperwork. And, funny enough, six months later, my Colorado certification is about done. I now am legal to teach in three states: Maine, North Carolina, and Colorado. Might make more sense for me to spend t

When writing a blog or posting a status update on facebook, it is not written for people to tell me how to live my life. I know who I am does not fit the mold of who many people think I should be.   Throughout my life until my 20s, I did what people   expected of me (with the occasional rebellious act). I went to a Bible college and subsequently left when I broke the rules and went to see a movie. Thus began my early 20s – having fun running with a band while working waitressing jobs. All the fun of college, with none of the expense. Or education. 22 found me broke and moving back home to work at the local McDonalds. At 23 I was pregnant and single. When offered the opportunity to marry the father, I turned it down. No longer was I fitting into the mold of preacher’s daughter.   While my father immediately accepted my situation and continued to love me unconditionally, many others did not. When Sean was four, I was attending church and singing in the choir. The minister (not my f

“Miss Victor, we have to talk to you at the end of class after everybody leaves. It’s important.” Class ended and the students needing to talk to me left. I asked one of them, “Did you want to talk to me?” “No.” I began my second block as usual. Within three minutes, the students from my last class were back motioning me to join them out in the hall. I got the class started and joined the three. “Mrs. Victor, someone stole your phone of your desk, made prank phone calls and broke it.” “No. It is still there.” I went to my desk to get it and show them. I know I saw it not that long ago. It must have been wishful thinking on my part. The phone was nowhere to be found. I joined the students again and asked them to tell me the whole story. Apparently, a student took my phone, made threatening phone calls to the school, threw it in the sink, ran water on it, jumped up and down on it until it broke, and threw it either outside or in the girls’ bathroom. “Miss Victor that just ain’t r

It is 10:44am on Wednesday morning. I sit here in a darkened classroom with no power. During the last 24 hours I have walked a student down to the office with a big knot on her head as the result of a fight; counseled the other half of the fight on different choices she could have made; been an object of a discussion between two teachers; backed my car into a ditch; and restrained a girl. Oh, yeah, and I taught about Civil Rights a bit also. My life continues to be an adventure! Fast forward nine hours. My day at school has come to a close giving me a few moments to sit and reflect on the adventure of the last day and a half. I continue to contemplate what could be done to teach the girls how to embrace the fiery passion they have within rather than to let it out through fighting. Let’s take a walk back through time….. In every other school I have taught in, teachers have a lunch break. This is not the case at BMS. Teachers eat with the students, albeit at a separate table. We

The state of education in the United States is in poor shape. Why? We are one of the richest countries in the world. Millions of dollars has been spent on education. Why is it that our students are performing substandard? Laws have been made to ensure students get a quality education. National Standards have been written for each curriculum area. Districts have adopted curriculums to better their students. Teachers attend workshops and conferences to better themselves. So why is it not working? I have an idea. It revolves around the importance we put on testing.  In many states, whether or not a student moves on to the next grade is contingent upon how they do on one test. In the case of the state of North Carolina, that test is a multiple choice test. The most important skill needed to pass the test is the stamina to read for three hours. Stamina that is developmentally difficult for adolescents, especially those with ADHD. The skills I teach on a daily basis cannot be tested if they

I said goodbye to Tony and Sana in the wee hours of the morning (6am on the last day of vacation definitely qualifies as ‘wee hours’) holding back the tears. The uncertainty of when we will be together again fresh in my mind. Back when we started this endeavor, we knew we could make it the three months until Thanksgiving. The excitement of new jobs and new opportunities filled us. Now, the reality of being apart comes crashing in. I need to tune back into the adventure of the whole thing and embrace whatever that means. However, it is not easy to be apart from loved ones going through difficult situations. I can’t be there to offer the physical comfort of a hug. No matter how great a phone call, Skype, or facebook, they will never take the place of being there. I go back to school tomorrow. A place for me to get lost in my teacher-side of me for at least ten hours a day. At home, it continues with being a mother to Sean and Patti. And maybe sneak in a phone call or two. By the tim