Jumpin' Off the Edge

Me! Running a marathon! Who would have ever thought?! Certainly not me, let alone anyone else that knew me back in my 20s and 30s. Yet, here I am. All dressed out in my special running clothes waiting to head to the starting line of the Marine Corps Marathon. Last night was a night of little sleep. I went to bed early and sleep came almost immediately. Yet, every half hour I was awake looking at the clock. I was sure I would oversleep. Today will be a day I will run. I will do as my sister suggests and Be sad. Run Happy. This race is where the baggage along the way gets left behind and the transformation from runner to marathoner to strong, independent woman happens in a tangible way. Watch out world. Here I come!

The weekend of the Marine Corps Marathon is here! I was feeling pretty much ready, but there was still a bit of doubt. Today, all that doubt was erased with a simple visit to Walter Reed Medical Center.   I wasn’t sure what to expect. I have volunteered several times in the psych ward in the VA hospital close to home. I was pretty sure this visit would be nothing like that. And it wasn’t. I met three incredible men who will be the ones carrying me when I hit my wall.  Right from the time I met him, the easy-going cheerful nature of Douglas or Charles depending on what I preferred, kept me smiling. He brightens up whatever room he is in. The discussion of the best costumes for amputees had me in stitches. They all took advantage of their lack of legs. His plan is to be Yoda. (Anybody know where he can get a costume in the next couple of days.) There is nothing that will stop him. He is currently in the market for legs that can be worn with waders....

  As the day of the big race draws closer, I am overcome with emotion. Upon looking at the picture above (thanks Deb), I realized the Marine Corps Marathon has become more than a race to me. It is not about the race, it is about the transformation into the woman I am becoming. It is about believing in the woman I am. It is about me. When I signed up for the race back in March, I was mired in loneliness and the desperation of wanting companionship. In the three months before the training began, I bought Layla (my motorcycle), moved into my own place, and spent a lot of time alone – the way I have done the majority of my training. In the past, when training for a longer race, I frequently ran my long runs with running partners. This time, it was all me with the exception of one long run. (That was the 14 mile run I pulled my hamstring. I was so thankful to have Rebecca with me to give guidance on what to do so I could continue the run.) My runs were done witho...

This one goes out to all the men and women who are willing to sacrifice their lives, peace of mind, and whatever else is asked of them to maintain our way of life. Walking up to the state capitol today, I could tell it was going to be different from the other times I attended the reading of the names to remember the men from North Carolina still unaccounted for from the war in Southeast Asia (better known to us as the Vietnam War).  A crowd of veterans was gathering on the lawn of the capitol as the area around the Vietnam War Memorial was prepared. Flags for the US, NC, NCVVI, and each of the military branches were placed in the ground. The sound system put in place. And the missing man table set for another month of remembrance. The lawn was abuzz with men and women sporting the patches of Rolling Thunder, American Legion Riders, and Combat Veterans.  All here to remember the 41 from North Carolina who have yet to come home. The past few months I have attended, spectato...

What most of you don’t know is that I was about to give up the whole idea of the marathon. Until today, it had been four weeks since I had run more than ten miles in its entirety. The last two long runs I did were a month ago. And I walked a chunk of each of them. My reasoning had everything to do with it being too hot, too dehydrated and/or telling myself I needed to be able to run again after walking. And then, I realized I screwed up and started my training by two weeks early. For the next two weeks, I didn’t do any long runs. The week I went camping, I brought my running stuff, but never took it out of my suitcase. Somewhere in all of this, I was over it. Done with running. Last night, I got a message from a friend who is running the Marine Corps Marathon because of me. She signed up never having run anything more than a 5K. She signed up because I believed in her and told her so. Her message came at the perfect time. We made plans to meet for breakfast, which ...

Dancing. It is one of my favorite activities. When dancing to live music, it is all the more enjoyable. Last night, I went out with a friend to hear a local band at a small venue. It was a great night of dancing! I don’t think I ever danced with the same person twice. It was about having fun and being carefree. My drink of choice for the evening? Water. What a blast! While dancing the night away, I noticed a few things. 1.      Walking to the dance floor for the first time of the evening takes a bit longer than the rest of the evening. 2.      Many times people are waiting for an invitation to join the fun on the dance floor. 3.      A carefree spirit tends to attract others to the dance floor. 4.      Many people want to dance, but are self-conscious about doing it in front of others (until they have a few drinks). 5.      The younger a person is, t...

Words. Long paragraphs of descriptive writing bores me. Poetry put to music can move me. Kind words make me smile. Words can also set me thinking. The following words written by Marianne Williamson in her book, A Return to Love , did just that when a friend posted it on her page. (Thank you, Laurie.) “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” The spirit of those words accompanied me for a good portion of my ride today. A ride that took me places I never meant to be and most of my day. Why is it so easy for me to embrace all that is inadequate about me? Whether it be how I view my body; myself as a runner or biker; or something as simple as me dating, I struggle to acknowledge the fabulous that is me. In the past few days, I have ma...