It is 10:44am on Wednesday morning. I sit here in a darkened classroom with no power. During the last 24 hours I have walked a student down to the office with a big knot on her head as the result of a fight; counseled the other half of the fight on different choices she could have made; been an object of a discussion between two teachers; backed my car into a ditch; and restrained a girl. Oh, yeah, and I taught about Civil Rights a bit also. My life continues to be an adventure!
Fast forward nine hours.
My day at school has come to a close giving me a few moments to sit and reflect on the adventure of the last day and a half. I continue to contemplate what could be done to teach the girls how to embrace the fiery passion they have within rather than to let it out through fighting. Let’s take a walk back through time…..
In every other school I have taught in, teachers have a lunch break. This is not the case at BMS. Teachers eat with the students, albeit at a separate table. We looked up yesterday to see a group of students standing around in a circle screaming. I immediately thought it was a bug or something. A fight never entered my mind. Silly me. Looking down on the floor I saw two girls fighting, the school resource officer trying to break them apart (he had one by the hair) along with two other teachers. Crowding in to me were the students hoping to see a good show. When they were finally pulled apart, it took three of us to get one of the girls to calm down enough to stay in one place. A fiery passion burned in her eyes. She was not done with this even as a knot rose up on her forehead. Myself and Mr. Wilson walked her down to the office. (She wasn’t looking too steady on her feet.) Slowly, she began to come out of it and started talking about all the things she ‘should have done’ such as not approached the other girl. As the emotion died down, she recognized the choice she made was not in her best interest. By the time she reached the office, she was full of remorse. Unlike the other girl. I took some time to talk to her. She had little to no affect when I asked her about her choice. Apparently, the fight was premeditated. “I couldn’t tell anyone. I had to fight. I don’t want people thinking I am weak.” All this over a boy. Ten days I don’t have her in my class, yet I am supposed to prepare her for the EOG.
Sometime during this same day, I was told that I was the object of discussions between teachers. I was curious. Apparently, some teachers are talking about how Mr. Wilson and I are too close to the students. We should teach and nothing else. I shrugged it off and listened to the person telling me this. “They don’t understand how the relationships you build help in the classroom and as a result you have very few behavior issues. It is their problem.” Not only that, there have been several occasions when students have come to me because they feel comfortable talking to me. Whatever. I find it interesting that just last week I was chosen as the Leading for the Heart representative, and this week I am being chastised for the same thing that got me chosen.
This morning the adventure continued. Students come to my classroom each morning to say hello, get a hug, or just hang out for a bit. This morning was no different. I did what I always do – greet each student by name in the hallway while occasionally popping my head into the classroom to check on things. One of my times checking, I saw three girls having a serious discussion. I wandered over to them. There was some discussion about what one of them may or may not have said yesterday in relation to the fight. I asked them to come into the hall and away from an audience so we could work together to resolve it. Within two minutes it escalated into a yelling match and they began charging each other. I physically restrained one of the girls, while another teacher restrained the other. One day of In School Suspension. Five days out of school. This is the third time my student has been suspended. I don’t think the suspensions are changing her behaviors.
These girls are smart girls! They have the potential to go somewhere in their lives. How can we, as a school, a society, tap into that part of them that can succeed? To believe in themselves. Is it a cultural thing? One of the fights was between two Latino girls; the other two black girls. Both of these fights (and the other girl fights this year) have been as a result of rumors. Rather than let it go, they believe the rumor and it blows up. In the meantime, the person passing on the rumor sits back and watches it all. Taking the power from the two involved in the fight.
I have been tossing around the idea of starting a girls’ group here. I don’t know how to make it happen. Maybe a lunch once a week. Or a breakfast meeting. Whether we like it or not, as teachers we need to be educating the whole child. The social side as well as the academic side. If only there were a test on it….
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