Skip to main content

The Write Time


I can’t find a quiet place to write. So many thoughts swimming through my mind. For the last hour, I have been trying to get it all down on paper, but to no avail. It began as a poem until the chaos of a few exercising at my feet crashed into my creative flow and brought it to an end. The second attempt brought forth the beginnings of a narrative.  This time the eruptions of an argument blocked the words from flowing.  Siblings forgetting how much they missed each other over the last few months. My fingers starting to let the words flow before coming to a halt when the next demand came.

With the temporary silence come the ideas once again. So much to write about. Knowing the importance of using this time to process all that is on my mind, I attempt anew. Headphones hugging my ears, Eric Clapton transports me into that place deep inside my mind where the writing takes place.

Unfortunately, the writing is not coming even though the ideas are swirling around as if in a whirlpool. A weekend away. Grades. Meeting up with an old friend. The arrival of family. Teacher workshops. Grades. A warm welcome after being out for a day. Discussions of running away. A 14-year-old in crisis. Grades. Upcoming funeral. Soccer. Lesson plans. The joy of my wives. The support of so many readers. “Grandma and I think you are having a midlife crisis.” I have no idea where this piece of writing is heading. I take a deep breath and let come what may.

What exactly is a midlife crisis? (Funny that is what would come to my mind as Sean appears at my door waiting patiently for me to notice him. I give him my iPod and send him on his way.) After doing some research, I have decided that midlife crisis is the wrong name for it. I think ‘reawakening’ fits what is happening for me much better. The word ‘crisis’ has such negative connotations. What is happening for me is not negative. It is about finding my passion for living. I love life and am going to enjoy it to its fullest. I have a pretty good idea what that looks like for me; however, I am still working on exactly what that looks like for us as a family.  Right now, I am enjoying having them all within reach.

Again, my fingers become still. A blank space fills my mind as Rush sings ‘Closer to the Heart’ to me. So much is close to my heart right now. Not only my family, but also my students. I return from my workshop day to hugs and cries of “I missed you!” Life goes on. The funeral looms. Whispers of retaliation heard in the hallways. A meeting for a student in crisis. He needs a self-contained setting, which means he will be leaving my class. Yet, when given the choice of a regular education, he wants to stay in my class. (It does not look like that can happen for him right now. However, I will be keeping in touch with him in some way.) A near fight at lunchtime. Girls not knowing how better to resolve their issues. The urgency for the need of a girls’ group bearing down on me.  Throughout it all, teaching happens. Students excited about the books they are reading in their gender-based book clubs!! The boys reading nonstop looking for the cussing and enjoying the story. The girls identifying with the reality found within the covers. Girls connecting the events of the main character to those in their own lives. Begging to take the books home and read it outside of class. Little victories.

A knock sounds at my door. The time to write that I have stolen away from my family is over. Tomorrow there will be another one.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An Easter Lesson

I decided that this break I was going to stay home and spend the week doing things I have not done or haven't done in awhile. It all began Thursday night with Ballroom Dancing, which will continue on Monday and Thursday with lessons. Saturday, I bought a couple of new outfits. Today brought both something I hadn't done in awhile and something new. Today, I went to church which was pretty cool in itself. I went with someone I just met the day before. (I am sure that is no surprise to any of you who know me.) We made plans to meet up at church. It was different from any church I had been in before. The chairs were set up "in the round." There was no piano or organ to accompany our singing. People were in and out throughout the 90 minute service. No surprise, the place was packed. The service was your typical protestant service, minus the organ, of course. It had been awhile since my friend had been to church. Many in the congregation flocked to him at the end to gi...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Christmas Ache

Christmas. For many it is a joyful day filled with family and good food, for others it is a struggle to get through the day.  Yesterday was my final Christmas waking up in an empty house. I don't want to do it again. The 50 plus years of waking up super early to either sneak to the tree and open my stocking or hear my kids do the same has made the silence of Christmas morning unbearable. The last four years, I have been waking up to an empty house. I had invites this year from every member of my family. I declined them for a variety of reasons, which do not matter in this piece of writing. What matters is today I talked to people who also struggled through Christmas day.  When alone, one can get caught up in one's feelings and think they are the only one going through whatever it is. In this case, being alone on Christmas. The ache inside begins. The tears flow. It doesn't help that the Hallmark channel is playing the formulaic Christmas movies. You know the one. It ...
Post a Comment
Read more

WABDR: Section 1

Section 1  We end at the beginning  Does it feel like this trip will never end? Epic adventures tend to last a bit longer than just an average one. So….on with our tale.  We got our bikes all packed up and continued over White Pass. The first time we went over it, it was a cloudy day. Thus, the visibility of the mountains was not much. I was expecting the same on our return trip to Packwood. Therefore, it took my breath away when I saw the mountain off in the distance for the first time. The beauty was so overwhelming, I teared up.    I continued to watch the mountain until I could see it no more. Soon we were in Packwood. Back where we started. After a quick breakfast at the local coffee shop, we were on our way. I may have taken a few minutes to ride the big bike first… Not too long though, because someone was ready to get moving.  Jennifer had some friends that were camping at Walupt Lake, which is right on the trail for Sectio...
Post a Comment
Read more