Jumpin' Off the Edge

I stared at the computer screen for almost two hours watching the countdown until registration opened. After finishing my first half-marathon last year, I made the statement that someday I wanted to run a full one. Yesterday, I saw a post from a friend on Facebook letting us all know that registration for the Marine Corp Marathon, one of her favorites, would fill up quickly. I went to the website and decided to run the half-marathon instead. But something kept pulling me back to the full marathon. Could I do it? Me? The last person always picked for sports teams back in school? Me? Almost 50 years old and a bit overweight? “Well, duh! Of course you can do it!” the voice inside of me screamed. “You thought the same thing about the half marathon and you did that.” I looked over at my 10 year old niece Grace, “26 miles. Should I?” She giggled. We talked about it some. I wish I could remember our conversation. Instead, all I hear is her giggle and the commen...

Time goes on, every day comes to an end, and new beginnings start. Change. Scary, yet liberating. The end results of change can bring about strength, confidence, and new experiences. Even when it is for the best, the transition that comes as a result of change can be difficult, painful at times. A few months ago, Tony and I determined that the best thing for our family would be to change its structure. (The how or why is not important for this forum.) Not only were we all coping with the changes happening in our family, individual changes are happening. Sean continues to be engaged in war in a far-off country watching people he cares about getting hurt and doing what he can to keep others safe. Sana is ready to graduate from high school with no idea of what will happen next. Patti recently changed schools. We are engulfed in change. Change can bring pain. The other day I was talking to Sean about the overwhelming loneliness that comes from separation. I didn’t tell hi...

Was it just a week ago on Sunday I got out of the shower, looked in the mirror, and threw up a little in my mouth totally disgusted by the big, blob of a stomach that was attached to me? Looking down, there was no sign of a belly button. Just a big, round mass of fat. Ewww! The self-talk continued. "Fat is gross!" "What did you do to yourself?" "You will never be able to keep weight off." "25 pounds?! You gained 25 pounds in nine months?!" "This is who you will always be - FAT!" "SHUT UP!" With those two words, I woke up and thought back to the words of a wise friend. "It is time to change your self talk, Mandie." I experimented with it a bit on Sunday, with Monday being the day that I became conscientious of the things I said to myself. I wrote about running up hills using the mantra, "I am loving me!" It worked! There was no stopping me now. No diet for me. I am on the 'Love Yourself' way of...

I crossed many items off my bucket list in 2012. From sky diving to running a half marathon to getting my motorcycle license, it was a good year to experience life. There were struggles as well. My son went to war. The death of a student. Revelations too painful to write of publicly. My transition from 2012 to 2013 was spent not at home with my family, but rather on a journey of self-discovery which took me to Atlanta, Panama City, and Savannah. So what did I discover? 1. The Importance of Girlfriends As I age, the friendships I make with other women become more important. Regardless of whether we are dancing, pouring our hearts out to one another, or laughing during a cab ride, the sisterhood is  vital to all that we are. I hope all the many wonderful women I met along the way will join me for a celebration of girlfriends as I climb over the hill. (Be watching for details sometime this year.)   2. You are never too old to enjoy your child's coloring. Seventeen year...

Guns. Who should have them? Soldiers? I can't imagine anyone going to war without one. Police officers? Of course! They often go up against criminals willing to use one. Private citizens? The 2nd Amendment gives us that right. Teachers like me? It is incomprehensible when a gunman goes into a school and shoots down so many innocent. I have no doubt that the majority of teachers would do anything to protect their students. I know I would. I have been thinking a lot about the idea of carrying a gun while teaching. I have had conversations with others that believe it is the right thing to do. Guns are second nature to them. They are trained to use them. They won't go anywhere without one. I think a day at the gun range would be fun. I think  teaching kids with a gun hidden away on me would be nerve-wracking. School needs to be a safe place. This is an indisputable fact. Would it be safer if I, a teacher, were carrying a gun? I don't think so. I consider myself to be a goo...

           Christmas away from my children                         school shootings                Sean                    bills                                             laundry           war              schedule                  lesson plans                                                         not running       ...

Ten days ago, I decided to celebrate the 13 days of my birthday after buying myself tickets to the upcoming Eric Clapton concert. In the days that followed the celebration of days included a free car wash, conversation with vets, a gift card from work, and a gift of Goodwill. Then the horrific school shooting happened in CT. I stopped celebrating the day of my upcoming birthday. Instead of finding what was good in my world, the negative seemed to be highlighted. The repairman was having difficulty getting our hot water heater working (three days later, still no hot water). No contact with Sean since before Thanksgiving. The stress that family can sometimes bring. Learning our landlord was still battling breast cancer and financial stress that came about as a result. The repairman going home to find his roommate dead. Throughout all of it, the 27 teachers and students of Spring Hope Elementary School in my mind. Heating water to take my bath out of a sink is nothing to the grief they ar...