Jumpin' Off the Edge

Don’t I hate it when I back a student into a corner unintentionally! I did it today with one of my 8 th graders. He didn’t do his homework and was very nonchalant about it. I asked him (loud enough for the whole class to hear unfortunately) what his football coach would think about that. Of course, he started telling me he didn’t know about the assignment. Not letting it drop, I disagreed with him. I argued with a student. UGH! I know better than that! My rapport with this student has been very positive. All it took for me to screw it up was showing my disappointment, no make that frustration, that he did not do his homework. When I went to apologize to him immediately after I realized what I did, he turned his head and ignored me. At that point, I walked away. As class went on, I treated him like I did every other day. By the end of class, he had come around and approached me about getting his homework done.   With any luck, it will come in tomorrow. I have two classes of student

Last night I got a call from Tony after he had taken a nap. His spirits were up even though he still had nowhere to live. There is something to be said for the healing that sleep can bring. Not only sleep, but a wonderful first day of work. It is his story as to how it is going in New England, but it did my heart good today to hear how he is clicking with everyone there. He still has not found a place to live and we do not yet know if Sana will be accepted into the school. However, we believe it will all work out the way it is meant to. Patti started school in North Carolina today! She goes to the same school I teach at. Much to her chagrin, I am not her teacher this year. However, she is making many friends and seems to be happy for the most part. We learned today that one of my students lives just a couple of houses down from us. She has someone to hang out with. This is a good thing because Patti is not used to being an only child. She has always had someone to play with. I do

I hate that helpless feeling! When we made the decision to live separately, we knew there were going to be challenges. Thus far, my biggest challenge has been one of patience while Tony has had to struggle with packing up the house, moving our stuff cross country, a broken windshield, losing his wallet, and now finding a place to live. I can hear the fatigue and frustration in his voice when we talk. And there is nothing I can do! I am baffled by the amount of support I got when moving here. People went out of their way to give me their cell phone numbers so I could contact them on the weekend when I arrived. It is because of that hospitality that I have a car, place to live, and furniture. Tony has not had anyone offer any of that to him. Yet, it is a small private school he is going to. A family if you will. I am in a public school, albeit, in a small community. Today’s lesson (that I should have learned a long time ago): It doesn’t matter the environment, kindness can be found anyw

Yup, I am totally crazy! Ever since it has been announced that I am going to be the soccer coach, people have asked me if I am insane. That, and if I know anything about soccer. The answer to both is YES. Well, I have more insanity than knowledge about soccer…. But, I am up for the challenge. I began Friday announcing to my homeroom about my new endeavor. Of course, I invited the boys in my room to join in the fun. “No, I don’t play soccer, Mrs.” (Someday, I will get them using my entire name.)   I encouraged them to come to the meeting. Wouldn’t you know, several of them did! They wanted to play because of me!! Some of them have never played before. I have never coached. How can we go wrong? Good thing I have my 7 th grade pros on the team! They are going to run the team. I am going to stand around with a whistle in my mouth looking official. When doing something new, it is important to ask for help. Therefore, I have been asking several people for guidance as I become known as

It is still dark here at 6am. I keep intending to get up and run in the morning, but can’t seem to get myself out of bed. It would probably help if I would go to bed earlier - and if I were sleeping better.   No complaining here. I have a comfortable air mattress that reminds my body of the aging that is happening. Once I get out of bed, I involve myself in domestic chores that I would rather ignore such as ironing. On my mind as soon as I got to school was the apology that needed to happen. I pulled the boy out into the hallway and apologized for putting him on the spot. His face lit up and he explained to me that he was uncomfortable being put on the spot. He also spoke up for one of his friends. They have a very low reading level, which I have no problem finding ways to make it work in the classroom. My concern is that fact that he (and five other students) leave the class at the halfway point to go do a special program to help their reading. This program works for them. I know

My day began In search of a computer Needing to print the day’s activities Slow machines Not letting me in Change of plans Students begin to arrive Excited about their choice of seat Migrating to the back row Wondering about the new teacher. I ask their names Hoping to keep them in my head They go wafting out like smoke from a chimney Class begins Reviewing the rule book I call on him to read He refuses A battle of the wills Refusing to engage I let it go Later I learn he could not read it 7 th grade English inclusion class Put on the spot Embarrassed Cringing about how I made him feel Determined to apologize tomorrow Hoping to keep the rapport. All students like games! Not when they need to hold hands Self-conscious Refusing to take the risk My work cut out for me. Loathing of the subject matter Convinced they are not readers and writers Embracing the challenge Ideas begin to bounce around in my head Knowing I can change their minds. The Advanced Class saunters in Taking their

OMG! School starts tomorrow! I am still trying to wrap my head around all I need to know. The team of 4 that I am used to working with has grown to 16. I have missed all the meetings discussing policies and procedures. I have two inclusion classes, yet I have no idea of the modifications and accommodations that I need to make. I have left school early the past two days to go to the central office – 30 minutes away. I hate to tell my principal that I am supposed to go again tomorrow! This time for a licensing meeting. I am looking forward to all the challenges this year is going to bring my way. Not only everything mentioned above, but also the fact that I will have 75 students! Double the amount I have had in the past. I am looking forward to the activities that will be possible with more than a handful. I welcome the energy that comes from being 13 and 14. I anticipate networking with other teachers. All of this spins through my brain as the clock continues to tick. Slowly throug

The withdrawal of not being connected was enough to get me out of bed at 5am. Ready for the day, I blasted down to the local McDonalds to take advantage of their internet connection. Unfortunately, there would be no facebook fix for me.   Therefore, I figured I would head to school and start doing something. I did something alright. I wandered the hallways for at least 15 minutes looking for my classroom. When I found it, I stood dumbfounded in the middle of the room. It was empty. Nothing on the walls. I have nothing with me.   In two days the students will be invading the room. Together we will make the classroom ours. Speaking of students, I got my class lists today. My first class is made up of 17 boys and 8 girls – 7 th graders – many exceptional students. (The new way of saying what we used to say as special education.) I imagine they have had about enough of school and do not like Language Arts. It is up to me to change that. I have been wracking my head with how to get the

HELLO…. HELLO…. HELLO….. HELLO….. HELLO…. The echo of the silence of an empty house can be felt all around me. In the stillness, I ask myself how I got here. I realize it was nothing more than a leap of faith. In the peacefulness, I reflect upon my leap and where I have landed. Lessons learned upon the way thus far come to mind. PATIENCE. Not my favorite lesson for sure. When I am ready for something, I want it to happen. I had been looking for a different teaching position since the beginning of June. I did not get a job until the middle of August. When I did get my job, I had to wait until it was certain I could be certified. While two month may not sound like a very long time to job search, for me it was an eternity.   As I learned to enjoy the simple things, the search became easier. TRUST. A week ago Tony asked me if I believed in a higher power. He said he had been talking to the Great Spirit and it gave him a sense of peace. I had been talking to him about the frustration

My eyes popped open at 4:15am. I rolled over, cuddled up next to Patti, closed my eyes and hoped to get a bit more sleep. No luck. My mind was racing. I was up and ready to go when Jamie knocked on my door 30 minutes later. A big hug and kiss to Patti, and we were on our way. The last time I drove to North Carolina from Georgia, I stopped for the night halfway. This time, it was straight through. During the seven hours the trip took, Jamie repeatedly commented on my ability to go into the unknown and be so positive about it. Crazy enough, I had no anxiety about any of this. While he was questioning whether the car would work out, I assured him it was all good. I marveled at what a great guy he was to drive me to North Carolina at the drop of a hat. Seven hours didn’t seem long enough to cover all that I wanted to say about how much I appreciated all he has done for me. Before I knew it, we were in Benson. The first person I met in Benson was Mr. Avery, my vice principal. The man w

I continue to revel in the way this is all coming together and the support I have around me. I have the best husband in the world. For the last week and a half, he has been doing the tough stuff – packing up the house. We talk each and every day. Even through his frustration of all my stuff, he loves me and supports me. Sana plugs away. Helping him out. The two of them together handling things in their own quiet, reflective way. Tony’s parents transporting ‘stuff’ from Colorado to Missouri. Colleagues from McClelland offering support and lending a helping hand at the yard sale. Patti putting total trust in whatever decision is made about where she will be. (She will stay with Jamie and Heather for a little bit yet.) While I am in Georgia, my new colleagues are making magic happen for me in North Carolina. My assistant principal took the time to look at a house for me today. After that, he test drove a car. A fellow teacher e-mailed me to offer me a bedroom until I could move into m

Last night before drifting off to sleep, I let it all go. As much as it pains me, I have no control over what state will give me the certification I need. I have done all that I can do. I have applied to schools in Colorado, North Carolina, South Carolina, Nevada, Tennessee, Maine, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts. I have made phone calls. I have interviewed with schools in all but the New England states. I have made available every piece of paperwork regarding my professional life that there is. Overwhelmingly, schools in North Carolina have shown an interest in me.   Each day for the last week, someone in Benson has been in touch. I have been working with four different people – even on the weekends. They are committed to finding a way to get me to their school. As of 5:03pm last night, they had done all they could do. It was now up to the state. The call came early this morning. NORTH CAROLINA WILL CERTIFY ME!! It looks like I will be certified in three areas: K-6 Elementary Edu

I had no choice but to take a day off from the job hunt today. The internet was down and I had no car. I can take a hint. I went up to the pool, listened to some tunes, basked in the sun and tried to let it all go. Unfortunately, I was never able to let go completely. I kept hoping for the phone to ring to tell me my certification was all set for North Carolina. Needless to say, that phone call never came or this entry would be titled something much more upbeat. I do have a great tan though! Now, I sit here at the local Starbucks sipping an iced coffee, using the internet, and once again waiting for the phone to ring. As is probably apparent to most people, I don’t do well waiting for things to happen. It is not any different waiting for a phone call. Therefore, I waited no longer and called the Benson woman to see where I stand with my certification. It is not good. It does not look like I have the coursework necessary to get my certification in Middle Level English. However, she

Every month thousands of husbands and wives say goodbye to each other to do what needs to be done – serve their country. Children hug their mother or father one last time as they are deployed. Thank God neither Tony nor I are heading off to war. We are the fortunate ones. Our lives are not in danger. We will be able to see each other on a regular basis. Even so, we are choosing to look at our situation as a ‘deployment’ of sorts. Our separation is a temporary one. As those couples have made an informed decision about joining the military, Tony and I took a long time before we made a choice about what we need to do to pay our bills. We have always said we would rather be happy in our jobs than make a lot of money. However, after doing that for the last 17 years, we are done living paycheck to paycheck. We are worth more than that - as is our family.   It is time for us to find both jobs we love and a salary we deserve so that we can support our family. Our decision was not made lig

It is wonderful being wanted for two different schools. One would even think there is some choice involved. What sucks is the problem with the paperwork needed to attain the job. Apparently, when I went through my highly qualified status in Maine, no one signed my paperwork!! Therefore, the chase for the signature begins. The person who needs to sign it is out for the WEEK! Ugh!! With any luck, my old principal will sign it. So, how does one keep a positive attitude about this journey into the unknown? I have no idea! Right now, it appears that I am only eligible to teach in K-6 elementary or special education classrooms. It makes no difference that I would not be very effective with these students. That magical piece of paper states that is all I am qualified to teach. I get the need for licensing. However, when my experience and education do not come into the formula, it makes no sense to me. Patti and I continue to live with my brother. She goes to school. I sit around and ho

The job offer was music to my ears. What I refused to pay close attention to was the contingency ~ I need to be eligible for North Carolina certification. I know I am, but one thing I have learned throughout this process is that it is not easy to get a piece of paper that gives me the ok to teach the subject matter I have been teaching for the last 17 years! It is no different in North Carolina. I woke up this morning with nothing to do. I was in limbo waiting to hear from Human Resources. I called them first thing in the morning only to hear that my paperwork needed to be passed on to yet another person. Late in the afternoon, I answered my phone hoping to hear the magic phrase, “You are good to go!” No such luck. I was referred to the licensing specialist for the district who needed yet more paperwork before she would okay it or not and give it back to the man I have been working with so he could check references. (Sounds confusing, doesn’t it?) The high of hearing, “We want you

I began the day a bit down in the dumps. (As is very evident from the earlier blog entry of the day.) I was missing my family. Wondering about the risk we took. Uncertain how it would all work out. My brother, Jamie, insisted that Patti and I join his family for a Braves game. He bought us $1 tickets and told us to get to Turner Field. The great thing about Atlanta Braves games on a hot Sunday afternoon is that the turn-out is not very good. We followed Jamie toward his seats on the third base line and sat in a couple of empty ones about 20 rows back. By the end of the game, I was in the first row! Apparently it was too hot for many of the fans. The Braves trounced the Dodgers, 13-1. (Newly added to my bucket list: get to as many of the major league baseball parks as possible. I have been to three this summer alone!) Upon returning ‘home’ I decided to check out the possibility of more jobs. Curiosity led me to Manchester’s website. (Manchester is about 30 minutes away from whe

The journey began with peace. After days of agony, over thinking, uncertainty. All came to an end with a simple “I quit.” Peace set in. Less than a week later, anxiety is overshadowing the peace. My rock so far away our relationship learns a new way ~ Facebook Instant Messaging Texting Phone calls Comfort no longer through human touch now felt through the cold keys of a computer. His voice on the other end of the phone always upbeat and positive knowing this will all work out as I begin to question. I lean on friends in cyberland sending words of encouragement reading my writing. Anticipating their words. Many in awe of the path we are taking, commenting on the strength and courage necessary to jump off the edge. Some days I wonder “Am I running away?” from a difficult situation at school from the transition of the change I knew was coming from the packing of the house from saying goodbye to friends from the dog

When I decided to write this blog, my goal was to write every day. Of course, I was not thinking about the whirlwind of activity that is my life. Therefore, I have adjusted my goal to writing a couple of times a week. So much has happened in the last three days! We arrived in Acworth, GA. My brother’s house is my first home on this adventure we are undertaking. Walking in the front door, I knew I would not stay more than a couple of weeks. Patti, on the other hand, will be figured out as we find out what is happening. I am so proud of her! When we moved to Colorado, she had a difficult time stopping the tears. This move is uncertain. She only brought two small suitcases with her. She has been positive throughout! No drama! (For those of you who know Patti, you know this is HUGE!) I had no idea what she packed. Upon walking into her room, I saw pieces of home – pictures, stuffed animals, and stuffed animals. Not sure where she fit her clothes, but she has made the guest room her ow