It's Like Being Deployed.....Kind of

Every month thousands of husbands and wives say goodbye to each other to do what needs to be done – serve their country. Children hug their mother or father one last time as they are deployed. Thank God neither Tony nor I are heading off to war. We are the fortunate ones. Our lives are not in danger. We will be able to see each other on a regular basis. Even so, we are choosing to look at our situation as a ‘deployment’ of sorts. Our separation is a temporary one.

As those couples have made an informed decision about joining the military, Tony and I took a long time before we made a choice about what we need to do to pay our bills. We have always said we would rather be happy in our jobs than make a lot of money. However, after doing that for the last 17 years, we are done living paycheck to paycheck. We are worth more than that - as is our family. It is time for us to find both jobs we love and a salary we deserve so that we can support our family.

Our decision was not made lightly. It comes at a cost. A couple pieces of me are missing. It is not easy being without Tony and Sana. Living in someone else’s home. Not being there with Sana when she says goodbye to her dog for the last time. Knowing they are packing up the house and I cannot help. Feeling helpless being so far away. Yet, within all the loneliness and helplessness is hope and the reminder that we made this decision together. Husband and wife. Doing what needs to be done. Where that job will be for me and where it will take me, I do not know. What I do know is that I am very much in love with my husband and that we will make this work.

Comments

The Hardest One Yet

From the time I began this blog, I made the conscious choice that I would be honest and open in the moment – whatever is going on. For the most part, I have done that. After struggling about whether to write about this particular challenge (let alone share it), I chose to do the uncomfortable and do both – write and share. “Your certification has not even been processed yet. Probably won’t happen until at least the middle of January.” I took a deep breath as I heard those words a couple weeks ago and I realized what that meant. Christmas would look very different than originally planned. The retroactive pay that Santa was counting on to make the holiday something special for our family would not be coming. I took a deep breath as I hung up the phone and walked out of my classroom, despair bombarding the hope and excitement of the upcoming holiday. A tornado of thoughts began whirling in my head as I walked to the guidance office. Playing with our budget in my head trying to

The Next Chapter Begins...

The first round of tears happened during the 8 th grade promotion. It has been such a wonderful year with all of them – 7 th and 8 th graders alike. The second round of tears came when I learned I do not have a contract for next year. I will not be returning to Benson Middle School unless the displaced teachers do not jump at the chance for my classroom. Right after she told me, I did my best to remain professional and keep the tears at bay. Unfortunately, they came anyway. About the time the tears hit my eyes, an email a dear friend sent me when I first wrote about the contract situation came to mind: “There is always a reason for things. Maybe God wants you to move on and inspire other students.” I love what she says. I feel that with my whole being. However, it did not make hearing that I have no job any easier. So now what? I am floating off the edge again. My family began the year in two different states. We are reunited again in North Carolina. Both Tony and I with

Aging sucks.....or does it?

Upon first thought, watching a parent age sucks. Unnoticeable at first. A bit of a stoop, some creaking in the knees, whitening of the hair. The doctor’s visits begin, as do the pills One for high blood pressure, another to thin the blood, and a handful of vitamins to top it off. The signs are there, but it is easier to see him as he has always been. My father, a pillar of strength. Until my pillar was knocked off-kilter. A simple surgery and the mortality of my father looked me square in the eye when the drugs took hold of his brain. Amidst his fidgeting and confusion, I realized…AGING SUCKS! And then….enlightenment dawned upon me….AGING IS BEAUTIFUL Wrinkles tell of smiles while silver hair speaks a life of memories. Knees creaky after years of kneeling in prayer, offering up a lap, and climbing up the stairs for one more kiss goodnight. Almost forty-eight years of memories nestled in my heart. Memories of my father. Taking us to church each Sunday Building and fixing

Jumpin' Off the Edge

Search This Blog