HELLO….HELLO….HELLO…..HELLO…..HELLO…. The echo of the silence of an empty house can be felt all around me. In the stillness, I ask myself how I got here. I realize it was nothing more than a leap of faith. In the peacefulness, I reflect upon my leap and where I have landed. Lessons learned upon the way thus far come to mind.
PATIENCE. Not my favorite lesson for sure. When I am ready for something, I want it to happen. I had been looking for a different teaching position since the beginning of June. I did not get a job until the middle of August. When I did get my job, I had to wait until it was certain I could be certified. While two month may not sound like a very long time to job search, for me it was an eternity. As I learned to enjoy the simple things, the search became easier.
TRUST. A week ago Tony asked me if I believed in a higher power. He said he had been talking to the Great Spirit and it gave him a sense of peace. I had been talking to him about the frustration with my job search and the way things were progressing. The question was posed: Was I talking to a higher power? I stopped going to church long ago – except when I go to hear my dad preach. Tony and I chatted about higher powers online for a while. When I headed to bed, I thought back to our conversation. What did I believe? I don’t think that any one religion has the only God. I believe they are all the same deity and people choose to believe in it in different ways. I had been trying to make a job happen rather than let it happen. Before drifting off to sleep, I gave up all of it. Very simply, I let it go. I began to trust it would happen. It was the next morning I received the phone call letting me know I could be certified and the job was officially mine for the taking.
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. When I decided it was time for me to find another place to teach, I was very negative toward the school I was leaving. It consumed me. After Tony was fired, my attitude grew more negative. I was sure I was to be the next one to be let go. It was when I handed in my resignation that my attitude began to change. (Except for that one day that I couldn’t seem to stop crying.) When I talked to people – my children, family, friends – about the risk we were taking, I focused on the positive side of it. My children have been absolutely amazing with this major transition in their lives. I believe that is because we are focusing on the adventure of meeting new people, seeing new places, and doing what it takes. We are not playing the victim. We are getting on with our lives with a smile on our faces.
JUST ASK. I hate asking for help. It is bad enough asking family members for help with things like taking an entire day to drive me to my new job, a temporary place to live, or money. I found it is not much easier asking my boss at a new job to help me find a place to live, a car, and a couch to lay my head until I found the place to live. From my brother who let me stay with him until finding a job (and continues to let Patti stay) to my boss who found both the perfect house and car to my colleague who let a stranger spend the night until I got my house to the many family and friends who have offered words of support along the way, thank you. None of this could have happened without any of you.
IT WILL ALL WORK OUT. I am reminded of this lesson on a daily basis. When I quit my job, I did not have another one until a month later. Driving up to North Carolina, the only thing I had in place was a job. No place to live. No transportation. Within two hours of getting to Benson. I had both. I do not yet know the end result of how it will all work out. I am away from my husband and children. One of them will be joining me in a week. When I will be reunited with Tony and Sana, I do not know. What I do know is that it’s all good. We will cherish the time we have together as it happens.
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