Eyes Closed ~ Arms Wide Open

I did it! After months of agonizing, I quit my job. I have no safety net. I have no 'sure thing' waiting for me. I am going to find my way. WE are going to find our way. For this does not just involve me. It involves my whole family.

For months I have been agonizing what to do about my job. I began looking when the first inkling of trouble began. Well before Tony, my husband, lost his job – a nice way of saying, “fired.” After he was terminated, it was only my income. The inner turmoil began. I set my feet and refused to move even as I was being pushed out the door screaming and sobbing, “Get me out of here!” All the while, my husband quietly supported me in whatever my decision. I wrote emails to friends and family describing the drama in my life. [I will post these if there is interest.]

So many people advising me to stay until I had something else. To have a steady income. I didn’t owe anybody anything. But I did. I might not ‘owe’ the new teacher and the students, but I certainly wanted the year to be a smooth one for all of us: Team Mac with the newest member, the students, and me. Those close to me asking how much energy I had been putting into the preparation for the school year. When answering, “None.” I knew what I had to do.

The words began forming in my mind even as the tears fell from my eyes. It was time to say goodbye and move on to the next adventure. Unfortunately, I had no idea what that was. (I still have no idea.) With offers with a place to stay from both the east coast and the west, I chose the east. Peace began.

Fast forward through the emotional amusement park that was our household all weekend. (Although, Tony would say there was nothing amusing about it.) 4am Monday morning dawned bright and early. It was time for Tony to begin the next chapter of his story. Unexpected tears came as I drove away from the airport. I took a deep breath, turned up the music, and sang along with Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten” beginning to get excited about the blank page before me. But first, I had to officially resign.

The letter written, butterflies in my stomach, and two of the best co-workers one could ask for standing beside me, I delivered my letter of resignation. A feeling of peace spread through me. I knew I made the right decision.