Ten hours she was tutored yesterday. Throughout the year, she has worked hard to earn A’s and B’s. Today was her second time taking the Algebra final, better known as the EOC, End of Curriculum. She was sure she would pass it the second time like she did the Math EOG. My heart fell when I found the scores in my mailbox. She failed it. Again.
“Damn. Damn! Damn!!” Within minutes I was surrounded by concerned colleagues. They knew what was up. My daughter was the only 8th grader not to pass the test on the second time around. As difficult as it was, it was so much easier being the teacher making the phone calls. It totally sucks to be on the receiving end. I knew what failing did to her the last time. I did not want to put her through it again. They tried to reassure me by letting me know that several students were being recommended to take the class again next year in high school. It did little to console me. I heard stories from a colleague whose child went through a similar situation. I was told that she would go through the waiver process. None of it made it better.
Throughout, I did my best to maintain the teacher side of me. It didn’t happen. Instead, the mom side came out as the tears began to leak. Back in my classroom, she approached me and asked when she would know her results. At first she was estatic her score went up by 10 points and then slowly it dawned on her. She didn't pass. She began questioning how everyone else could pass, but not her. How could her classmates fool around and then pass the test? How could she get A’s and B’s all year long and fail it?
When her father heard the news, he began to hurt along with her. He knew how hard she worked for it. His frustration brought up questions addressed to me. All faith and optimism he used to have for school and politics gone. I have no answers for either of them. I do not know what to say.
At the bureaucratic level, they do not see the faces of the children who have not passed a test in their entire schooling career. They do feel the fatigue of a teacher putting in 12-hour days to remediate students and preparing waiver folders so the students can be promoted. They do not see a child loosing confidence in their ability and giving up. (I would be interested to know how many of these same students drop out of school.)
I want to believe in our education system. After all, I am a part of it. I know there are success stories to be found. In my classroom alone, I had several students pass the test for the first time ever. (Unfortunately, some of them will not get certificates to celebrate because they passed on the retake.) More importantly, I have students who have learned the enjoyment of reading. Students who are able to advocate for themselves and talk about what they have learned during the year. Students who know the testing for the big game it is.
I will give my daughter another hug tonight and remind her that we are not going to let a test get the best of us. When the emotions settle, we will look at what next year will bring in the area of Math.
In the meantime, my empathy for the families going through failing the test and the waivers that follow has increased. I have now experienced the state testing from all sides (except taking it). It still sucks!
Oh Mandie, I am so sorry that Patti did not pass the test. Next year in High School are they required to do this same testing ? It doesn't seem right that a student gets A's and B's all year and then not pass the test. Take care and tell Patti to think positive. Love you. Marguerite
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